Editorial: My Top 10 Favourite Creepy Easter Eggs in Video Games!

My Top 10 Favourite Creepy Easter Eggs in Video Games!

          It’s been a long time since I made a Top 10 list, and with Halloween being today, I figured now would be a great time to make a new one!

          I actually have never personally been a Halloween guy. It mostly stems from my dislike of horror as a genre altogether. What I do like is when a developer or artist sneaks something a little unusual or unexpected into a game. Sometimes you’ll be playing a family-friendly adventure when something comes out of the blue that makes you just plain uneasy. Because of that, I’ve made a rule that no straight-up horror games are allowed on the list. I feel that they’re already trying to creep you out, so an extra hidden detail in an already scary game doesn’t really match up with finding something unexpectedly frightening in a non-horror game.

          Also remember that this is all for fun and purely subjective, so if your favourite is missing, it’s either because I don’t know about it or don’t like it as much. With that said…

10. Disturbing the Remains (Destiny)

          Once upon a time, there was a little FPS/MMO hybrid called Destiny. When it first launched in 2014 a rapid fanbase quickly latched onto the game, determined to unearth every secret.

          One of the things they stumbled upon became known as the “Loot Cave”. It was basically a place where enemies spawned infinitely, allowing more experienced players to mow them down, and as a result gather obscene amounts of treasure.

          The developers over at Bungie quickly learned about this, and the Cave was patched out. In its place, however, something much more unnerving was created.

          If you enter the cave now, all you find are a pile of black remains, and you are given the option to disturb them. Upon doing so, garbled and reversed speech begins to play, followed by a voice clearly saying “A million deaths are not enough for Master Rahool.”

          Master Rahool is actually a pretty common face to see in Destiny. He hangs out in the hub world, and talking to him allows you to exchange your loot for weapons, armour, and other useful items. Rahool became infamous in the Destiny fanbase for often handing out items that were worth less than the loot you traded in. Given that he’s never shown any sinister behaviour in-game, this is more than likely a nod to the fan reception of the character. But if you were unaware of that, I imagine this could be pretty startling.

9. Post-Boss Sounds (Splatoon)

          Splatoon is already hiding some pretty eerie stuff in the form of the Sunken Scrolls, collectable items in the singleplayer campaign. They detail the lore of the world, giving us context to the biology of the inklings, the origins of the Squid Sisters, the original Turf Wars that preface the game by hundreds of years, and much more. Most frightening, however, are the ones that detail the fall of humanity due to rising ocean levels, and how one of the final surviving scientists cryogenically froze his beloved cat as a means to keep him alive.

          But today, we’re talking about an even darker secret you may not have heard about. After beating one of the bosses in singleplayer, you are rewarded with a zapfish. In the lore of the game, the zapfish is what powers civilizations and keeps Inkopolis running.

          Before you collect the fish, if you listen closely, you can hear what sounds like something collapsing, as well as voices moaning and screaming in terror. For a long time, no one was sure what to think of these. Even the director of the game, Tsubasa Sakaguchi, went on record to say that he had no idea what they were doing in the game. Listen to them for yourself.

          Finally, a theory rolled around that seemed to explain the noises. The main antagonists in Splatoon are known as the Octarians, an octopus-like race that act in direct contrast to the playable squid-like Inklings. They’re the ones who stole the zapfishes in the first place, as a means to power their own underground world. By taking them back, you are effectively ending their civilization, as detailed by the sounds of destruction and screaming.

          Then again, considering Sakaguchi had no idea what they meant, it could be nothing. But hey, someone put them there for a reason, right?

8. The Hell Valley Sky Trees (Super Mario Galaxy 2)

          Walking through Super Mario Galaxy 2’s Shiverburn Galaxy, you might never notice that something is amiss. That is, unless you use the in-game camera function and look to the sky.

          There’s a large cliff face to your immediate left for most of the galaxy. If you zoom into a first person view, turn towards the cliff, and then look up, you’ll spy what appears to be three shadowy figures staring down at you with empty eyes. No matter how far you go into the galaxy, if you look up and to the left, the figures will always be there, watching you with empty eyes.

          The most bizarre part of these guys is that, to this day, no one’s sure exactly why they’re there or what their purpose is. You never interact with them, or find them in another galaxy. They’re separate entities from the skybox, named “HellValleySkyTree” in the files of the games, so they’re definitely meant to be there. They just look creepy, follow you through the level, and that’s it.

          One thing’s for sure, though: I’ve never seen a tree with eyes.

7. Arthas’s Return (World of Warcraft)

          In a game as big as World of Warcraft, you’re bound to find some creepy stuff hidden away somewhere. A good example are the Children of Goldshire. At a certain in-game time, you can find a group of kids walking around the town of Goldshire, forming a pentagram-like shape. You can also find them inside a house, where it seems they’re performing a ritual to summon the demonic old god C’Thun.

          As creepy as that is, I feel the more unnerving secret can be found in the ruins of the kingdom of Lordaeron. If you don’t know the story of the kingdom, let me give you a quick rundown. In Warcraft III, Lordaeron was ruled by King Terenas Menethil, with his son Arthas Menethil being next in line for the throne. During a quest to protect his homeland, Arthas was manipulated into becoming an agent of the evil being known as the Lich King, a title he took with great honour.

          After joining the Lich King’s side, Arthas returned home to Lordaeron, and this is where the easter egg comes in. If you visit what’s left of Lordaeron in World of Warcraft, you can hear sound effects taken straight from Warcraft III, depicting Arthas’s return. First, you hear the bells ringing and crowd cheering for their noble prince. Then, upon entering the throne room, you hear the ghostly voices of Arthas and Terenas having their final conversation before Terenas’s death at the hands of his son.

          “What is this? What are you doing, my son?”

          “Succeeding you…Father.”

6. Elevator Girl (Pokémon X and Y)

          The Pokémon games have never shied away from hiding some creepy stuff in their games, from the denizens in Lavender Town to the Old Chateau to several downright terrifying Pokedex entries. Who knew that Kabutops cuts prey open with claws and then sucks out their bodily fluids? Because I sure didn’t want to know.

          My favourite, however, comes from Pokémon X and Y. In the enormous Lumiose City, there exists an unmarked building hiding one of the series’ most unnerving secrets. Go into the elevator and up to the second floor. Upon exiting, the music fades out, the lights will flash, and a girl using the Hex Maniac character model appears behind you. She glides away with no walk animation, says “No, you’re not the one…” and vanishes. Pretty darn creepy, if I do say so myself.

          Somewhat similarly to Splatoon’s case, the director of Pokémon X and Y, Junichi Masuda, initially didn’t know what people were talking about, and upon being shown video evidence, refused to talk about it anymore.

          Another thing to add is that what is assumed to be the same girl appears yet again in Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. Alongside what seems to be several ghosts popping around the home of Elite Four member and Ghost-type trainer Phoebe, if you visit Mt. Pyre, you can find a girl using the exact same character model as the ghost from X and Y, repeating the same dialogue. To this day, Game Freak hasn’t given us any context for either of these things, but for now, they’re fun to speculate on.

5. The Ghost of Mount Gordo (Grand Theft Auto V)

          The Grand Theft Auto series has always been known for having loads of supernatural and creepy easter eggs. Remember back when San Andreas came out and everyone was going crazy searching for Bigfoot? He’s become a mainstay in the series ever since. Add in UFOs, aliens, and even a literal Heart of the City, and you’ve got some pretty weird stuff going on in Rockstar’s wacky world.

          The creepiest is, without a doubt, the ghost featured in Grand Theft Auto 5. Visiting Mount Gordo between 11:00 PM and midnight triggers her to appear. The closer you get to her, the more she fades away, although you can always see her clearly through the scope of your rifle. She’s…not exactly a pretty face.

          It’s necessary to get close to her to understand the creepiest part of this whole thing. At her feet, the word “Jock” is written in what looks like blood. Coincidentally, there’s a character named Jock Cranley running for mayor during the events of GTA V. Or is it a coincidence?

          Upon looking through some information, you’ll stumble upon the fact that Jock once had a wife named Jolene. The two were going through some marital strife, which ended in Jock pushing her off the edge of Mount Gordo. Her death was ruled an accident, but her spirit still roams the mountain spelling out the truth.

4. W.D. Gaster (Undertale)

          Undertale is already filled to the brim with secrets and easter eggs, but what if I told you there was an entire subplot hidden away in the game’s code?

          If you venture into Undertale’s coding, you’ll stumble across something called “Fun Value”. Changing the number of the value causes different scripted events. The most common of these is the Wrong Number Song that plays in northern Snowdin Town, but you can make other things trigger as well, such as bonus phone calls from characters like Sans or Alphys.

          But as the numbers go higher, things start to get weird. New NPCs begin to pop up across Waterfall and Hotland, many of them grayed out versions of existing characters. They speak cryptically of a being named Doctor W.D. Gaster. According to them, Gaster was the previous Royal Scientist who constructed the Underground’s core. However, something happened to him some time before your character arrives, but exactly what destroyed him varies depending on which character you speak to.

          You can even encounter what appears to be Gaster himself if you set the values right. Travel through Waterfall to the room with the crystallized cheese and Save Point. On a normal playthrough, the next room would contain Sans and a telescope. However, if the values are entered correctly, you will find a hallway, empty aside from a gray door. Entering the door presents you with an empty room, and a shadowy smiling figure with a white face. He has no collision detection, meaning you can walk right through him. Attempting to interact with him seems to startle him, and he vanishes instantly.

          It doesn’t stop there, either. Further changing the values can give you a Sound Test room in Snowdin, where you can listen to “Gaster’s Theme”, an eerie composition of repeating notes. Continuing on gives you a cryptic message written entirely in Wingdings font, perhaps referencing the “W.D.” in his name. The doctor even pops up in the canon game, with the Riverperson urging you to “beware the man who speaks in hands”, referring to the Wingdings font Gaster speaks in, and the skull-like cannons Sans uses in his boss battle are canonically called “Gaster Blasters”.

          Whatever the case, the legacy of Dr. Gaster is a secret not many have stumbled upon, but incredibly intriguing to those who have.

3. The Ghost of Rattmann (Portal 2)

          Okay, I promise that this is the last ghost on this list.

          Doug Rattmann is an obscure but incredibly significant character in the Portal games. A schizophrenic scientist working for Aperture, he was one of the few to doubt the idea of the GLaDOS project. Upon her awakening and subsequent reign over the facility, Rattmann fled into the bowels of Aperture, attempting to control as much as he could from the shadows. He was the one who, in the original Portal, infamously warned players “The cake is a lie” as written on the walls.

          Rattmann’s story continued in the companion comic for Portal 2, “Lab Rat”. After your character, Chell, was dragged back into the facility at the conclusion of the original game, Rattmann and his faithful Companion Cube restored power to the relaxation chamber you find yourself in at the start of Portal 2, leaving you primed and ready for Wheatley to find you in the opening of the sequel.

          In Portal 2, Rattmann’s scribblings are still around, albeit a little less frequent. They hold a frightening new secret, however. Upon entering any room with graffiti, move as close to a wall as you can. Upon listening closely, you hear what is unmistakeably a human voice moaning and mumbling from beyond the wall.

          Considering that Portal 2 takes place an undisclosed but lengthy amount of time after the original game (Wheatley: “Now you’ve been under…for quite a lot longer.”), it’s not unreasonable to think that Doug Rattmann has passed away since the events of Portal, but his ghost still walks the facility, schizophrenically mumbling nonsense. The track that plays over him talking is even called “Ghost of Rattmann”.

          While Rattmann’s story may have ended, he remains a creepy easter egg for those who know where to listen.

2. 4:44 AM (Harvest Moon: More Friends of Mineral Town

          This one is simple, yet terrifying. The Harvest Moon series has never really been one for creepy secrets. When a ghost does appear in the series, he looks more like Charlie Brown with a sheet over his head than anything else.

          However, there is one hidden easter egg that had the potential to unnerve anyone who knew the implications behind it.

          On any day of any month, wait until 4:44 AM, and then turn your TV on. If done correctly, a dialogue box will open, filling with the number 4 repeatedly. The entire game locks up, and the only way to fix it is to either restart or rotate the directional pad for a bit. A little creepy, yes, but why’s it so high up on the list when compared to some of the other entries?

          In Japan, the number 4 is considered very unlucky. 4 and the word death have the same pronunciation in Japanese, that being “shi”. Imagine playing Harvest Moon, booting up your TV in the middle of the night in-game, and seeing “666” flash across the screen repeatedly. That’s the equivalent of what this was for Japanese players.

          That, plus the fact that it crashes the game, makes this an incredibly unnerving addition to a cutesy game. It seems that cutesy games always hold the scariest secrets, however, because this one is trumped only by…

1. Gyroid Face (Animal Crossing)

          As much as I adore the charming, happy-go-lucky and relaxed nature of the Animal Crossing games, they’re holding a fair share of dark secrets. In Animal Crossing: New Leaf, you can use the Dream Suite to visit Aika Village, a town seemingly overrun with creepy red dolls and featuring an up-to-interpretation story.

          But considering Aika seems to be a fanmade creation, I decided to go with what I consider to be the creepiest video game easter egg, one found in the original Animal Crossing for the GameCube.

          Before we get into the easter egg, however, it’s integral to know some background. One of the recurring items in the Animal Crossing series is known as a gyroid. Gyroids are small clay golems with dark, circular holes for eyes and a mouth. They can be dug up in your town, and when placed in your house, all they do is sit there and play a musical note repeatedly. They don’t sell for very much, and sure don’t look pretty, so most players just ignore them.

          What’s interesting about them is that they’re based on haniwa, Japanese clay figures that were ritually buried with the dead between the 3^rd and 6^th century. I’ll ignore the implication that your town is situated on an ancient Japanese burial ground, but remember that. It’s important.

          In the original Animal Crossing, there was no Wi-Fi connectivity yet, so to visit a friend’s town you had to put the memory card with their town on it into the GameCube’s second memory card slot, and use the train station to get there. However, if you power your console down on the way to the other town, things start to get more than a little messed up.

          Upon restarting the game, your character returns, except with a slight difference: your face is gone. It almost looks like you’re made of clay and someone bore 3 holes into your face for eyes and a mouth…exactly like a gyroid. Your inventory is completely empty as well, with anything you had on you before that fateful train ride being wiped from existence completely.

          Considering your character’s face returns to normal the next time you return to the game after saving and quitting, most wrote this off as a way for Nintendo to say “hey, don’t do that”. But after knowing what the gyroids were originally based on, this takes a bit of a darker turn. Could you shutting off the power when going to that other town indirectly have killed your character, with the gyroid face representing their death?

          Well, those are my favourite creepy gaming easter eggs. I hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween!

Song of the Week

          In the spirit of the holiday as well as the game I chose as my #1 pick, I felt it only necessary to go with the Halloween theme from Animal Crossing: New Leaf. This song is both creepy and whimsical, fitting the theme of Animal Crossing’s take on the holiday perfectly.

Magical Girl Raising Project Episode 5 Review

Kill or be killed

(This review contains spoilers!)

          This episode focused almost entirely on the duo of Sister Nana and Winterprison, as well as several other characters we haven’t seen much of yet. Magical Girl Raising Project is doing an excellent job of establishing their ensemble cast, as we’re finally seeing more of characters that lacked screen time during Ruler’s early arc.

          Sister Nana is planning to band together with a large group of other magical girls to find a way to end the competition and resume business as usual. Nearly all of the candidate’s reactions range from unwilling to downright threatening to the prospect, leading to our first real fight to the death between two of the characters, although both ended up surviving.

          Sister Nana and Winterprison’s dynamic is one that was established just by seeing them outside of their magical girl costumes for a few minutes, and I really liked that. The show didn’t explicitly tell us what their relationship was – rather, it allowed us to fill in the blanks ourselves and decide whether they were platonic or not.

          In fact, all of the characters were pretty stellar this week. I’m very intrigued by the robotic Magicaloid. As far as I can remember, the show hasn’t told us whether she’s a full-on robot or just a robot-themed magical girl yet, so I’m excited to see where she goes. Her magical power was undeniably hilarious as well.

          Lots of more development was given to Cranberry, the musician magical girl who hung out in the background of a few scenes in the chatroom. As hinted at in the intro, she seems to be working with Fav for whatever reason, and seems to be out for magical girl blood. She went up against Winterprison, ending the fight in a draw, and the episode ends hinting that La Pucelle is her next target.

          The fight scene between the two was fast and exciting, but felt a little too short. Ultimately, this episode seems more concerned with setting up characters to die instead of moving the plot more than an inch along. Granted, the exposition is enjoyable and doesn’t feel like wasted time. I’m glad that we’re getting development for characters we haven’t seen much of yet. It does feel a little disappointing that, when something actually does happen, it’s over in under five minutes.

          The other thing this episode did was put a target on the heads of more characters. The opening of the episode marked Sister Nana to die similarly to how obviously Ruler’s death was telegraphed last week, and while thankfully we didn’t see a repeat of that, her relationship with Winterprison makes both of them prime targets. Similarly, if La Pucelle makes it out of this series alive, I’ll eat my hat.

          Although this week was a bit too heavy on the exposition, I did enjoy myself. It’s necessary to have these world-building episodes in a much bigger series, lest everything ends up feeling rushed. Characters like Magicaloid and Cranberry are very intriguing, and the representation of Sister Nana’s relationship with Winterprison was excellently written and animated. Five weeks on, Magical Girl Raising Project continues to impress, and with things growing progressively darker in this world, it’s hard not to look forward to what’s coming next.

FINAL SCORE

8/10

Great

Paper Mario Color Splash Review

Colour me impressed

(This review contains minor spoilers!)

          The Paper Mario series has become increasingly confused about what it wants to be. Originating as a spiritual successor to Square Enix’s Super Mario RPG for the Super Nintendo, the series went on to try several different game types, like a bizarre mix of a side-scrolling platformer and RPG elements or a crossover with the Mario & Luigi series.

          The latest main installment in the series was Paper Mario: Sticker Star for the 3DS, which got such a backlash that I didn’t even bother playing it. Fast forward a few years later to Paper Mario: Color Splash, which once again got mauled by fans after just the first trailer. It was like a repeat of the whole Metroid Prime: Federation Force nonsense, with the YouTube trailers for the game getting slammed with dislikes and even online petitions springing up asking Nintendo to cancel the game outright.

          So what’s the final result after all this hate? Well, although the game has its flaws (several of them, in fact), it’s ultimately a creative, colourful, and ultimately fun experience I’d recommend fans of previous installments check out.

          The story is traditional Mario fare: Bowser and his cronies are draining the colour from a place called Prism Island, and it’s up to Mario and his new paint bucket friend Huey to gather Paint Stars to save the day. As much as we’ve heard this story before, the writing is actually the best part of Color Splash. The game is laugh out loud hilarious at times. Rarely does a conversation or cutscene go by without a joke or pun. My personal favourite is at the shop, upon running out of funds, the shopkeeper Toad exclaims “Mario, you’re baroque! Go out and get some more Monet!” Add in some clever Mario references (“What in the Lost Levels is going on here!?”) and even some meta humour (“Mario! Princess Peach has been kidnapped! No one could have seen this coming!”) and you’ve got a fantastic script that keeps the mood light and the laughs coming.

          In fact, the entire presentation to this game is just fantastic. Color Splash takes full advantage of the Wii U’s graphical processing power, making it one of the best looking games on the console. The cardboard landscapes look like something out of a popup book, characters bend and fold like real paper, and the intro looks beyond fantastic. This is all accompanied by an energetic and fun bluegrass soundtrack that fits the paper aesthetic perfectly. The one gripe I have is that aside from some major ones, every single NPC you can chat with is a Toad of varying colour. It’s incredibly boring to happen upon a new character, just to find that they’re yet another yellow or blue toad, identical to several others all across the game world. The original Paper Mario games were so great in creating villages populated by not just Toads, but friendly Goombas, Koopas, and even some all new monsters. Why not go back to that?

          I can only describe the gameplay as very unique. I’ve heard it’s similar to Sticker Star and Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam, but as I haven’t played either of those I couldn’t tell you. Think of it as an adventure game with some light RPG elements. You travel across a world map to different levels, where you battle enemies and solve puzzles to find the Paint Star at the end. It’s simple enough that a kid could enjoy it with no problem, but has enough secrets to keep an adult like me engaged.

          The battle system is strange. Unlike the original Paper Mario RPGs, you have a limited amount of Jump and Hammer attacks. You can acquire more by buying cards. In a battle, you choose which cards you want to use, colour them in by using paint, and then flick them from the GamePad to the screen to use them in battle.

          This can be extremely hit or miss. For one thing, you either have too few or too many of the card you need. Making the jump and hammer attacks constants while making stat-boosting items or weapon upgrades cards would’ve worked much better. Secondly, it’s infuriating having to go through the card painting process every time you want to attack. First, you must scroll through a lengthy wheel to find the cards you want. Then, after selecting the cards, you hold down your finger on the GamePad to colour them in individually. Then, finally, flick them onto the screen. It only takes about 12 seconds each time, but that time adds up. It would be so much easier and convenient to just press a button and do the attack. When it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

          Despite this, there’s enough going on in the battles to keep you engaged. Every once in a while, a Magikoopa will scramble your cards, making battles a bit more difficult. Enemy turns also involve quick reaction times to reduce the amount of damage Mario takes. Plus, while Mario prepares his cards on the GamePad, the enemies lob hilarious insults and taunts at him on the TV. If it weren’t for how tedious the card system was, the battles would be a lot of fun.

          The weird part of battles is that ultimately, they don’t matter much. Killing enemies only nets Mario paint, a card or two, or occasionally an item that sort of acts as raising experience points. When you gather enough of them, the amount of paint Mario can carry is raised. Mario never becomes stronger or faster. Even his Max HP is raised only when completing integral story points. There are small RPG elements to this game, but once I realized battles weren’t integral to getting stronger to progress through the game, I started avoiding them as much as I could.

          If anything, Paper Mario Color Splash is guaranteed to bring you a smile or two. The lovely visuals and fantastic writing really elevate it to a higher level than the overall gameplay can take it. This would be a perfect RPG to start a young kid off on the genre, before they can handle games like Final Fantasy. While the card system is frankly irritating and battles are ultimately only there because they’re necessary, Color Splash is a lot of fun I’d recommend renting for a week or two. Even if you’re a fan of the original games turned off by how different it is to, say, The Thousand Year Door, give it a try! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll kiss lots of paint goodbye.

FINAL SCORE

7/10

Good

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Review: “Lockup”

Who ya gonna call?

(This review contains spoilers!)

          I’ve been extremely critical of the ghost plotline ever since it popped up, and this episode was a good example as of why. I like that the Darkhold has been brought in (kind of obviously to tie into Doctor Strange, though), but exactly why it’s here isn’t great.

          With Daisy and Robbie now on board to help track down the spooky spectres, Coulson and crew are stopping by the prison where Robbie’s uncle is being held in hopes that he’ll help them track down the Darkhold’s location before the ghosts can get to it. Unfortunately, the ghosts get to the prison first, and all hell breaks loose. Meanwhile, Simmons needs to help Director Mace with an interview, while simultaneously hiding the truth about Aida and Ghost Rider from him.

          The Simmons plotline was the best part of the episode, if only because she and the director make a great pair. Mace revealed to the world on live television that he is an inhuman, and it seems that the anti-inhuman lady who lost her brother to terrigenesis is trying to use him as a means to take down the inhumans from the inside. We also got the reveal that Simmons sort of has Mace wrapped around her finger, as she has some secrets about him that it seems he’d rather the public didn’t know.

          I’ve been a fan of Mace ever since he first appeared, and this episode is no exception. I’m glad we’re finally seeing some of that dark side to him the characters were talking about back in the premiere, because now we have reason why everyone was suspicious of him. I did feel he was a bit too squeaky-clean early on, so I’m extremely excited to see where the show takes him next.

          Meanwhile over on Coulson’s side, while having the S.H.I.E.L.D crew mixed up in a prison break caused by ghosts sounds like a good idea on paper, in practice it’s just a clustered mess. The writers seem to be trying to give all the main characters their own plotline, but ultimately it just winds up causing each of these smaller stories to feel weightless. The ultimate payoff is also extremely frustrating, and Daisy’s part in the story is just as good as everything else she’s done this season. I’m just glad that the other characters are calling her out for acting like an emo kid all the time, because frankly, it’s getting incredibly grating.

          The other major problem with the episode is that we’re several episodes into the season, and the ghosts still look like rejects from a local haunted house. Granted, they’re better than last week, but that’s only because they didn’t use mannequin hands for Lucy this time. The effects and the makeup, in conjunction with one another, creates a laughably bad effect that never looks believable. Maybe the entire budget went into creating Ghost Rider, but regardless, I expect better from this show.

          This episode was extremely half and half. While the Simmons/Mace plotline and some elements of the prison break were fun, the cluttered plot, frustrating ending, and continued use of the awful ghost effects and emo Daisy really dragged it down for me. With the promise of Ghost Rider’s origins next week, hopefully things will pick up again.

FINAL SCORE

6/10

Okay

Timeless Review: “Party at Castle Varlar”

The Spy Who Shoved Me

(This review contains spoilers!)

          So I assumed last week’s episode only existed to set up the plot this one. Well, I was sort of right, but ultimately the whole “A-bomb” plot only really existed to add tension. In the end, the villains only seem to be using it to power the time machine, which is a little disappointing.

          The episode itself, while better than last week’s by a longshot, was still not exactly up to the standards as set by the first two episodes. Lucy, Wyatt, and Rufus go back to Nazi Germany, and run into future James Bond author Ian Fleming. Together they try to stop the Nazis from installing the A-bomb in one of their rockets, giving them the firepower to win the war.

          So there’s a few problems I feel like I must address right off the bat. First off, a lot of the cinematography in this episode is laughably bad. There are not one, but two scenes of nothing but Lucy looking at herself in the mirror, while the cameraman has a field day. Zoom in, zoom out, go out of focus, back into focus, cut to a crying shot, cut back to a normal shot, super close zoom in, rinse and repeat. Thankfully the rest of the episode isn’t shot like this, but it’s incredibly distracting when it pops up.

          Secondly, I think the show has completely given up on the whole “your actions in the past have consequences in the future” thing that was so prevalent in the pilot. Remember how even the slightest change to the Hindenburg ended up changing Lucy’s life dramatically? Here they’re killing people left and right with reckless abandon, and nobody bats an eye. What if one of those people, after the Nazis fell, ended up being extremely significant to history?

          But I digress. The rest of the episode was decent, while still not reaching the heights of the Abe Lincoln episode. I liked the espionage element used as they spy around the Nazi launch pad, and how it tied back to Rufus’s current dilemma. Speaking of that, we haven’t had much context for exactly what he’s doing yet, have we? We know he’s recording stuff on their adventures for the secret organization that the villains are trying to destroy, but why? I’m guessing all the pieces will come together in time for the season finale, but I wish they focused a little more on this plot point.

          I think that the writers are currently trying to figure out what kind of show they want Timeless to be. It’s not taking itself seriously at all, but yet at the same time it’s trying to be big and dramatic with the characters and set pieces. You really need to decide on one or the other. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D takes itself seriously, but has a lot of lighthearted moments to keep things from getting too dark. Why can’t Timeless be like that? I can only hope that as the show continues, the showrunners get a better understanding of what Timeless is.

FINAL SCORE

5/10

Average

Editorial: Switching things up

Switching things up

          The promised day has finally arrived! Nintendo has finally unveiled its long brewing seventh home console, long codenamed NX: the Nintendo Switch. And what came as a bit of a shock to me, the internet seems to have collectively agreed that it looks to be really cool!

          Gamers on the internet seem to be perpetually at war with each other for no reason other than to argue for argument’s sake. We saw this in things like the No Man’s Sky debacle and the Final Fantasy XV delay earlier this year. Yet here, with the Nintendo Switch, people have come together in agreement that this is something worth getting excited about.

          The question is why, though? Why is everyone uniting under the umbrella of the Switch when they were tearing at each other’s throats earlier?

          I think the answer can be found in Nintendo’s past, specifically with the Wii U. True story, when I first saw the Wii U, I thought it looked terrible. As the Wii came down crashing and burning at the end of its line, I wanted Nintendo to return with a gimmick-free console, similarly in vein to the GameCube. The last thing I wanted was a single tablet controller, with Wiimotes for the other players. Once I finally had the Wii U in my hands, I fell in love with the console, but it still gave me a pretty lousy first impression.

          Turns out I wasn’t alone in this. But even years after launch, the Wii U was the laughingstock of comment sections filled with Sony and Microsoft fans. It didn’t attract the casual crowd either, because of a lot of failed marketing. Basically, Nintendo wasn’t able to distinguish the Wii U as its own thing, and most perceived it as an add-on to the Wii, sort of like the Wii Zapper. On that note, does anyone else remember the Wii Zapper? I’m pretty sure only like five games used that thing.

          As I said many times during the Wii U’s lifespan, I wanted Nintendo’s next console to be back to basics. I had had enough of gimmicks, and was ready for a regular console.

          So why is the Switch, arguably even more gimmicky than the Wii U, getting so much love?

          Well, first of all, it’s dropping the Wii name. This gives the casual crowd notice that it’s a brand new thing, as opposed to wrongly assuming it’s an add-on to an existing console.

          But ultimately, the main thing about the Switch that succeeds is that it’s primarily a home console. The first thing they show in the trailer is a guy playing Zelda with a Pro Controller. Yes, the gimmick is there, but considering that this is primarily a home console, the fact that they’re pushing the controller type that was an afterthought on the Wii U makes it clear that Nintendo is bouncing back.

          The other thing that really makes the Switch interesting is the portability. It’s no secret that the 3DS is lucrative for Nintendo. They’ve been the undisputed kings of portable gaming for years, especially if you don’t count the mobile market. Gamers and casuals alike love having games like Pokémon or Animal Crossing to bring with them on road trips or even on their bus commutes to work, especially if they need to keep their phone battery for other reasons. I always found it that, despite how much Nintendo initially touted the ability to play on the Wii U GamePad without being in the same room as the console, you could barely make it to the other side of the house without being plagued with connectivity issues. With the Switch, you can now play anywhere, and that sounds amazing. There’s still the concern of battery life and losing the game cartridges or detachable controllers, but from first glance, it’s a really good idea.

          Nintendo is being extremely protective over Switch information, even more so than they usually are. This trailer is apparently the only info we’re getting on the console until next year, making us wait for important things like specs and pricing info. Despite that, it was a great starting point, and we can all come together hotly anticipating the Switch and what it’s going to do for the gaming marketplace.

Song of the Week

          It wouldn’t be an editorial about the Switch without the awesome song from the trailer. The song, Ha Ha Ha Ha Yeah (not the name I would’ve gone with, but whatever) by White Denim encapsulates the more adult feel the Switch seems to be going for perfectly.

Magical Girl Raising Project Episode 4 Review

Long live the queen

(This review contains spoilers!)

          Even though this episode pretty clearly telegraphed who was going to die before the opening even rolled, the way the showrunners were able to tie the last three episodes together in one big twist was phenomenal.

          We pick up directly where we left off, with Leader, Swim Swim, Tama, and the angel twins attempting to rob Snow White of her candies in hopes of taking out the leading competition. The plan is a success, but, as is the case with these things, things go a little haywire and the result isn’t exactly what the characters are expecting. I dare not spoil exactly what it is, but although it’s kind of an obvious twist, exactly why what happens happened is just plain brilliant.

          Not only does this episode bring a conclusion to one of the major storylines going on so far, but it gives a spotlight to characters who really haven’t done much yet, such as La Pucelle and Swim Swim. Even Nemurin unknowingly pulled the strings of this whole episode by visiting that dream just before she died.

          The fight scene in the episode in fantastically animated as well, as the battle between La Pucelle and the angel twins is exactly what you’d want from a magical girl battle. High-flying combat, crazy weapons, fun quips and dialogue, it’s the whole package.

          The one thing I still feel this show is doing wrong is the characterization of Snow White. She doesn’t participate in the battle for her candies. Fair enough, she’s still new at this and her ability isn’t exactly one that can help her in a combat scenario. What I don’t like is after she’s been robbed, she immediately gives up, and asks La Pucelle to give up too. So not only is she supposedly perfect and collects obscene amounts of candies off-screen, but she’s pretty spineless and just throws in the towel immediately after something goes wrong? She’s the main character! We’re supposed to be rooting for her! I actually found myself thinking that if they killed off Snow White, not only would it make for a huge surprise, but nothing much of value would be lost either, and that’s a shame.

          Other than that, this was another fantastic installment in the series. While the main character is still pretty lackluster, the other characters are more than making up for her shortcomings. With some new plans brewing between Top Speed and Sister Nana, plus the arrival of yet another new magical girl, things are really beginning to heat up.

FINAL SCORE

9/10

Amazing

Bonus Content: My initial thoughts on the Nintendo Switch

So the NX has finally been revealed! The Nintendo Switch is the name of the next generation of Nintendo consoles, dropping the Wii name and branding once and for all.

          And, much to my surprise, I’m absolutely on board with it. As someone who disliked the Wii U after seeing the initial trailer, the Switch has really impressed me with how creative and smart the idea looks.

          If you somehow missed it, the basic idea of the Switch is that it’s both a home console and a handheld in one. There are multiple different ways you can mix and match the controllers, including a standard Wii U Pro Controller update, a handheld device similar in vein to the GamePad, a bunch of small controllers similar to Wiimotes you can hand out to friends for impromptu multiplayer, and more.

          Overall, it’s a really creative idea. It allows you to create multiple controller options with just one, removing the need to buy four different controllers just for a round of, say, Mario Party. I assume that for games like Smash Bros where this wouldn’t work Nintendo can reintroduce the GameCube adapter, giving them an easy solution there.

          But who cares about that? You want to hear about the games!

          One thing people remember about the Wii U was how disastrous the third-party support was. Aside from a few select developers, none of the third party developers seemed to want to build their game around the console. In the Switch’s case, that problem seems to have gone out the window, as seen with the Partners image Nintendo put out.

          Yeah.

          Not only are the usual suspects all here, like EA, Ubisoft, and Traveller’s Tales, but there’s some pretty massive developers on this thing too. Bethesda, From Software, Telltale, Square Enix, and more are all onboard for the Nintendo Switch.

          As for the first party games, aside from the already announced Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Skyrim Remastered (I had a moment of disbelief seeing Skyrim on a Nintendo system), we saw what looked like new iterations of both Mario Kart and Splatoon, as well as a new Mario 3D platformer. From the brief glimpse we got of Mario, it looks like a sort of hybrid of Mario 64 and Mario 3D World. I’m not the biggest fan of 3D World, but I consider 64 to be the best Mario game of all time, so I’m looking forward to more information. Splatoon seems to be getting more advanced inkling customization options and Mario Kart is bringing back the two item system used in GameCube’s Mario Kart Double Dash, both of which are things I’ve wanted for a long time.

          Ultimately, I think that this made the whole NX insanity period worth the wait. The controller looks fantastic, instead of the abomination that was supposedly “leaked” earlier this year.

          I don’t say this often about consoles, but I’m super excited to see more of the Switch. It seems to be the perfect combination between hardcore and casual gamers that Satoru Iwata was looking for in his lifetime, and I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that he himself designed it. If this is to be Iwata’s legacy, it looks like it’s going to be a good one.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Review: “Let Me Stand Next to Your Fire”

Burned

(This review contains spoilers!)

          It seems that this episode was jam packed with nothing but pure awesomeness. Coulson vs. Robbie in a car chase? Check. Hellfire returning? Check. Simmons discovering the truth about Aida and not getting super angry at Fitz about it? Check, check, check!

          I’m so glad that, once again, S.H.I.E.L.D was able to subvert my expectations. I mentioned in my review of the season premiere that I was worried that when Simmons discovered Aida, a rift would break between her and Fitz because he didn’t tell her about it. As it stands right now, it thankfully looks like they aren’t going that route. Simmons agreed with Fitz that for her job security and frequent lie detector tests, it would’ve been best if she hadn’t known.

          Speaking of Simmons, she had some great material this week. Elizabeth Henstridge has always been a sort of secret weapon for the show, bringing both charm and wit as well as some serious acting chops. I especially liked how she was having none of Daisy’s emo phase, remarking “Okay, you can go back to that Lone Ranger thing you’re doing now” after patching up her injuries in the beginning of the episode.

          As usual, however, it was Ghost Rider who stole the show. In bringing back Hellfire, the show took the opportunity to give Ghost Rider his signature chain, as well as giving us a fight scene between two of S.H.I.E.L.D’s most iconic fire-users, in a fireworks store no less. As ridiculous as it seemed, I’m glad they had a sense of humour about the whole thing. Coulson even joked “You had to see this was coming” when Mack questioned if it was a good idea to bring Ghost Rider to what must be the most flammable place in the world.

          The episode ended with the reveal that the ghosts are searching for the Darkhold, a book from the comics responsible for most of the dark magic in the world, and also belonging to one Doctor Stephen Strange. I guess that’s how they’re going to vaguely tie into the movie.

          Speaking of the ghosts, we got a little more backstory on Lucy, the leader of sorts. She built a machine that seemed to create matter out of nothing, but after an incident involving Robbie’s uncle, she seemed to have died. She got a brief cameo this episode, but the effects on her were as laughable as ever. I’ve seen better in cheap haunted houses.

          Despite that, this was a fantastic episode, and continues to prove that S.H.I.E.L.D Season 4 keeps getting better and better after its lousy start. The Aida subplot is turning out to be better than I thought (although it’s still pretty obvious she’s going to turn on Radcliffe in the end), and while the ghosts are still stupid, I’m interested in seeing where it goes. The showrunners are somehow taking a bunch of less than stellar ideas and making good TV out of them, and I must commend them for that.

FINAL SCORE

9/10

Amazing

Timeless Review: “Atomic City”

The inconsequential episode

(This review contains spoilers!)

          This episode only seems to exist to set up what’s going to happen next week, where we apparently go to Nazi Germany to stop Flynn from giving an A-bomb to the Nazis. That looks interesting. Unfortunately, this episode seems to have fallen by the wayside, giving us a lot of exposition and falling short on interesting character or plot development.

          This week we travelled back to 1960’s era Las Vegas, featuring such colourful characters as the back of Frank Sinatra’s head. The one we spend the most time with is JFK’s mistress, who’s about as interesting as a plank of wood. She feels like the same character we’ve seen before in a million other shows and movies: the seductive agent who isn’t afraid to use her body to get what she wants. She’s extremely boring, and you forget her as soon as the episode ends.

          Thankfully, our main characters have a little more nuggets of information added to the larger puzzle. The professor who got kidnapped in the first episode is actually working for the villain, and our main soldier guy (I’ll learn his name eventually, I promise) tried to send a telegram to his wife in an attempt to save her life, but to no avail.

          The other significant thing that happened was that Flynn and his crew managed to steal an atom bomb, which they’ll use for their own sinister machinations in the next episode. Considering they’re on their way to Nazi Germany, one would think that they’re up to no good. But this show’s done an excellent job of making us second guess ourselves over who really is the good guy, so it’s up in the air.

          That’s all I can really say about this episode. It was bland, boring, and only seems to exist to set up the atom bomb plot. While the setting is fun, they really don’t do anything with it, and aside from our main trio, the supporting cast is completely wasted. If you’re sort of running this show in the background, this is definitely an episode that you can skip.

FINAL SCORE

3/10

Bad