Editorial: The Best Worst Game Box Art Ever

The Best Worst Game Box Art Ever

          Box art is kind of a thing of the past these days. It’s not going anywhere anytime soon, but it doesn’t have the power it used to. Back in the day before internet reviews for games were everywhere, one of the few real methods of judging a game before you bought it was how pretty the picture on the box was.

          But not every box art is created equal, and today we’ll be counting down my favourite best worst box art of all time!

Phalanx

          This one is a classic. Take a look at this box art and just try to guess what the game is actually about.

          If you guessed a hyper-speed shoot-out in space like the green text on the box says it is, you’d be right. But if you thought the game had anything to do with that banjo-strumming hillbilly there, you’re wrong. As far as I can tell, the game features no hillbillies of any variety.

          The game’s ad company later admitted they chose the image because they knew it would attract attention just because of how silly it looked. At the time the market was full of Gradius knockoffs, and I guess someone thought that a picture of a hillbilly would separate their game from the rest of them.

Batman: Arkham City (Game of the Year Edition)

          Truly proving that hilariously awful box art is not a thing of the past, this so-called “special edition” of Arkham City is special in all the wrong ways.

          It makes so many classic box art sins that it’s funny. All-white background? Check. Cool male protagonist wiping his mouth for some reason? Check. Obnoxious reviews all over the place? Check, check, and checkarooney.

Ultimate Duck Hunting

          I’m guessing this is a modern upgrade of Duck Hunt I never heard of?

          I love this one for two reasons. First: the guy hunting ducks. He’s aiming at the sky, but the duck is flying closer to his waist! What, does he think the bullet’s gonna hit it on the way down?

          And secondly, the giant ominous dog face floating in the background. What’s up with that? Is he the final boss? Or is he your omnipotent companion who gets the ducks for you after you shoot them? I’ve never played the game, so I dunno.

Karnaaj Rally

          Another all-time classic. Why is it that so many of these covers have just one thing that completely ruins them?

          I mean, this one speaks for itself. You know what makes me really want to buy a game? Seeing a guy on the cover with his hair photoshopped to be blue looking like he just got kicked in the nuts. That really gets me pumped.

Ninja Golf

          Ninja Golf aims to answer a question we all must ask ourselves at some point: when does terrible make a complete 180 and starts becoming awesome again?

          Here we see a ninja carrying his clubs across the green and wielding a scimitar…because that’s what ninjas do. I guess. Is it weird that I actually want to play this one?

Super Duper Sumos

          No.

          Just…no.

The Mystery of the Druids

          This one is my absolute favourite. The first time I saw it I laughed for like two minutes straight. It’s so perfect.

          The face is just so hilarious and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because the model is so quality or maybe it’s because the expression isn’t one they usually use right in your face on a box cover. Whatever it is, it’s amazing.

          In fact it’s so amazing that it’s inspire photoshoppers the world over to create tributes to it, so to close us out, here’s some lovely fanart of Mystery of the Druids!