You lost me at “screw you”
(This review contains
spoilers!)
Well, that was 45 minutes I’ll never
get back.
I like watching shows that don’t
really have a lot of hype behind them. Through that I’ve discovered awesome shows
like Timeless. But sadly, more often
than not I’m usually met with an awful pilot and a bunch of precious time
wasted. This was one of those times.
Salvation
seemed like it had an interesting premise. A meteor heading to Earth and
seeing how the inhabitants deal with the idea of the apocalypse on its way can
be done well. The thing is that from the first moment onscreen to the end
credits, Salvation does absolutely
nothing right with the concept.
The first problem is very quickly
apparent: this show is boring. Really, really boring. You’d think that the
concept of doomsday would make these people react a little more, but no. They
all seem pretty uninterested with what’s going on. Here’s the thing: if the
characters aren’t interested, why should I be?
Speaking of the characters, by the end
of the episode you’ll wish that asteroid would hurry up, because none of them
are likeable in the slightest. Main guy is a total asshat, the lead scientist
is clearly a failed attempt to ape Elon Musk, and the female lead is exactly
the same as a million other boring and plain female leads unlucky enough to be
stuck with an incompetent writer.
The villain is only marginally
interesting, but in an ironic sort of way. Why exactly does this show need a
villain? I’m pretty sure the asteroid does that job. And speaking of that, the
fact that there is a villain in a
show about an asteroid approaching Earth is confusing. Does this guy want
everyone to die? Why? He can’t possibly gain anything from this arrangement ‘cause
he’ll be dead too, right?
Actually I think approaching this
episode with logic is the wrong course of action because the writers clearly
didn’t.
The other big problem with the show is
the tone. Yes, doomsday is typically not a laughing matter, but this episode
was brutally serious to a fault. I don’t remember any of the characters
cracking a smile or telling a joke once, and this just added to the overall drab
atmosphere. Think about other shows like this that worked: stuff like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, Timeless or Scorpion. While those shows can have darker moments, there’s always
a bit of levity and comic relief around. Here everyone spends the entire
episode moping, and (surprise!) it’s not fun to watch.
You’d think that the imminent
destruction of the planet I live on would give me a reason to care, but I’d
already declared Salvation a wash
after the first 15 minutes. I will say that this show isn’t bad heckling
material. If you’re like me and like watching bad stuff and shouting jokes at
the screen, this episode’s got some material.
I think it goes without saying but I
will not be back for next week. This episode does everything wrong with the concept of approaching destruction. The
characters are so unlikeable that you’ll be rooting for the asteroid by the end
of the episode. The writing makes high school anime fanfiction look good. I’ve
seen better visual effects in SyFy movies. If you’re having terrible insomnia
and need something to put you to sleep, I can’t recommend this episode enough.
Trust me, it’ll work wonders. As for anyone else, salvage yourselves and stay
far, far away from Salvation.
FINAL SCORE
1/10
Garbage
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