Editorial: The Splatoon Standard

The Splatoon Standard

          DLC being included in games has become the norm instead of the exception. When buying any new game, there’s always a good chance that the developers are spending launch day working on more content set to be released later. I’ve always said that there’s nothing wrong with new content, so long as it’s stuff worth paying for in a game that’s worth going back to.

          But with recent game announcements and releases, a question’s been sticking in my mind: when should developers charge for DLC?

          A recent and much welcomed trend changed gaming forever, arriving in the form of 2015’s surprise hit shooter Splatoon. Splatoon launched without much content to its name, but it also came equipped with a promise: Nintendo swore it would continue to update and upgrade the game over the course of the entire year with new gear, weapons, maps, and even entirely new game modes. They delivered on that promise, leaving the game as one that many consider to be the pinnacle of the Wii U’s library.

          Nintendo employed a similar strategy a few months later with the launch of Super Mario Maker, and at that point developers around the world were turning their heads. Nintendo’s aquatic-themed paintball game went on to win several awards for Best Shooter that year, defeating industry giants like as Halo and Call of Duty, and the recent launch of Splatoon 2 on Nintendo Switch was met with critical and commercial acclaim, with new weapons already starting to roll out as Nintendo prepared for apparently up to two years of new content and support for the game.

          Other developers were quick to take note: Splatoon was able to, in the words of the game’s Squid Sisters, stay fresh in the minds of gamers everywhere because new content was being released frequently. Games like Overwatch and Titanfall 2 began to release with promises of new characters, stages and special events to be given to players free of charge later on down the line. EA made gamers everywhere breathe a sigh of relief when they announced Star Wars Battlefront II would also be going down the path of the squid kids, doing a complete 180 on what its predecessor was so lambasted for. Aside from optional microtransactions here and there, the current consensus seems to be that the price you pay to buy the game should also include everything that is released later.

          This doesn’t sound too bad, except that not every game has adopted this principle. Two of this year’s most successful releases, Horizon: Zero Dawn and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild are employing paid DLC models, with Zelda’s having already begun with the release of a new dungeon in June. Both are expected to release more in the Holiday season, with Zelda giving a new questline and Horzion adding a tundra-themed area to the map, complete with new quests, settlements and the like.

          So the big question here is primarily why did Nintendo slap a price on Zelda’s extra goodies whereas games like ARMS and the Splatoon franchise give out their additional content for free?

          One explanation is that the size of the update and the amount of work put into it requires the extra cost. By the sound of it Horizon’s new update will be adding a significant amount of new content to the game, making it feel more reasonable why we’ll need to pay a bit more. A whole new area of an already enormous map would be significantly harder to make than, say, a new character for Overwatch. The fact that it’s all being released in one huge update instead of a bunch of mini updates over time like Splatoon does is also a major factor.

          I still say that Splatoon is in the right when it comes to DLC: games are already pretty darn expensive as is, especially if you live in Canada like I do. Having a game you already paid for give you more stuff for free is always nice, and it keeps you coming back for more months and months after buying the game. I’m really looking forward to spending a lot more time with games like Overwatch and Splatoon 2 for years to come thanks to the continued support of the developers.

Song of the Week

          Color Pulse – Splatoon 2

Re:Creators Episode 16 Review

Still waiting

(This review contains spoilers!)

          If anything, this episode personified how I’ve felt about Re:Creators since the season break: almost half an episode’s worth of talking and discussing before arriving at an eight minute long cliffhanger ending that leaves us waiting for next week. Seriously, what happened to the show where something awesome happened every week?

          This episode suffers from an overreliance on the characters talking about stuff we’ve already gone over in past episodes. The big master plan is explained again for what feels like the billionth time, and a lot of the episode is given up to watching the characters goof off and give us hot spring shots that, let’s be honest here, are only there because fanservice. Ugh.

          This is the biggest thing standing in the way of Re:Creators. It wants to both be a love letter to anime with very impressively animated fight sequences, but it also wants to be an exploration of the creative process that goes into anime. There’s nothing wrong with trying to juggle two radically different themes (heck, some of the best entertainment ever is those that do it well), but Re:Creators suffers from the same problem as Steven Universe: it doesn’t exactly know how to do both the slice-of-life segments and the action/plot building segments at the same time, leaving us with radical difference in between episodes and making the show feel almost schizophrenic.

          Fortunately the last eight minutes aren’t too bad…if you like even more buildup. It’s mostly a “rah rah rah here we go!” moment for the characters where they all try out their suped-up weapons before entering the arena for the big event, which I’m sure is going to be great once we see it next week. They’ve been explaining what it’s gonna be so much that it better turn out good.

          This episode is skippable fluff. No development is made in the plot, and while the characters all have minor fun little moments here and there, they are few and far between. The fact we had to wait an extra week to get this is just plain frustrating.

FINAL SCORE

2/10

Awful

Splatoon 2 Review

Hooked again

(This review contains minor spoilers!)

          Splatoon came as a huge surprise to me. While I initially wrote the game off as Nintendo’s two cents into the shooter genre, upon playing it I immediately fell in love with the concept. Instead of focusing on killstreaks and the like, instead using your weapon to paint as much area as possible was genius, and the continued support of the game throughout the year kept me coming back for more.

          So with the inevitable sequel finally arriving to store shelves, was Nintendo able to recreate the magic of the original Wii U classic on the Switch? Short answer, absolutely. Splatoon 2 is everything you loved about the predecessor and then some, albeit with a few confusing design decisions added in that leave you scratching your head.

          The core mechanics that made the original work so well are still in place for Splatoon 2. The delightful undersea-themed city Inkopolis is still the setting, with many new and familiar faces running the various lobby features. The new idol squids who introduce what maps are live upon booting up the game, Pearl and Marina, are just as full of personality as their predecessors in Callie and Marie (who’ve been moved to a much larger role in the single-player campaign). Everything feels vibrant and alive, leaving you with a feeling that this would be one game world you wouldn’t mind living in.

          The presentation is just delightful in all aspects. Splatoon 2 is extremely vibrant and colourful, filled with bright greens, yellows, purples and more. The graphical jump from Wii U to Switch definitely shows, as now the ink shines and sparkles under the sun. I honestly can’t wait until the next Splatfest to see how everything looks at night again. The game’s soundtrack is just as fun as the original as well, albeit improved in every way. Those weird and out-of-place heavy metal tracks that played during multiplayer matches sometimes in the first game are no more, replaced by a much more consistent soundtrack that matches the underwater theme with the grungy and modernized look the series is known for, representing the characters of the game extremely well.

          The multiplayer modes are exactly the same ones from the original copied and pasted into the new game. Turf War is the most popular and accessible of the lot, in which you must paint as much of the map in your team’s assigned colour while at the same time fighting off an opposing colour team. If you played the first game it works almost exactly the same way here, and is just as fun as it always was.

          Ranked Mode also makes a return, boasting the same trio of modes from the original game: Splat Zones, where you try to keep control of a single area, Tower Control, where you must escort a payload to the other side of the map, and Rainmaker, which is similar to Tower Control except you must carry a huge weapon with you to the other side instead of a tower. While these modes aren’t nearly as fun as Turf War (Splat Zones especially was never fun in the first place) they’re fun distractions if you’re looking for a different way to play.

          One frustration I have is that despite all the complaints with it in the first game and the clearly much stronger hardware of the Switch when compared to the Wii U, the two stages per rotation limit is still in place. Each mode will only run two of the game’s (at the time of writing) eight maps at a time, making it grow a little annoying once you’ve played on Moray Towers four times over the course of half an hour. Thankfully this system isn’t nearly as bad as it was in the original game as now the maps and modes rotate every two hours instead of every four, but it honestly makes it hard to play multiplayer in more than an hour at a time as the same two maps repeatedly start to grow boring after a while.

          If you’re looking for something new, the game has you covered. The latest inclusion to the game is Salmon Run, a horde mode style concept where you and three other players take on an armada of piranha-looking fish monsters, trying to harvest eggs from them while at the same time keeping yourself and your teammates alive. A huge variety of boss monsters also show up to ruin your day, including a flying menace that shoots a storm of missiles, a shark that preys upon unsuspecting inklings by stalking them from beneath the surface of the ink, and the snake from Disneyland’s Fantasmic.

          Seriously, tell me I’m not the only one who sees the resemblance?

          The bosses must be defeated to harvest the rare golden eggs that they carry. Once you make it to the end of three waves without your entire team wiping at any point and if you’ve managed to match or beat your assigned quota of golden eggs, you’ll be rewarded with prizes such as tickets you can use to add an extra buff you can use in multiplayer or exclusive gear you can’t find anywhere else. Trust me when I say though that this mode is hard. You can be dealing with up to three bosses at a time, and if your team is uncoordinated things will go bad real fast. Despite this, Salmon Run is an awesome addition and one that I keep going back to for more.

          Actually, that’s what I want to say, but this is where the most confusing and frustrating addition to Splatoon 2 comes into play: Salmon Run is only available for a 12-hour period every other day. Why!? This mode is awesome, but for whatever reason Nintendo has it closed off for a good chunk of time. There’s literally no reason why this would be a good idea. Instead it limits the mode to those who can get to their Switches while it’s up. If you’re out at work or busy the day it’s up, too bad. You’ve gotta wait a day before it goes up again.

          Lastly, just like its predecessor Splatoon 2 features a singleplayer campaign. Thankfully Nintendo seems to have taken the lessons learned from the first one to heart, as this time around instead of feeling like an extended tutorial with a cool final boss, Splatoon 2’s Octo Canyon mode is a short-but-sweet adventure with a lot of awesome moments that are sure to bring a smile to the faces of longtime fans. Each level sees you using a different weapon in the game’s arsenal, from the tanklike Paint Rollers to the sniper rifle Splat Chargers. You’re up against the evil Octarians as you jump, shoot and swim your way through various galleries until you find the end of the level. Some levels switch things up with fun variations on Turf War modes or levels almost entirely filled with rail grinding. It’s a very nice little mode that can be beaten in just a few hours, with a final boss and ending that makes the first game’s look paltry by comparison.

          It’s no surprise that I adored Splatoon 2. While to some it might feel too similar to its predecessor, I feel that the approach Nintendo took with it is just what it needed. If you loved the original, this game will be right up your alley. Nearly everything is either just as good or better than it was on the Wii U, and the new Salmon Run mode and promises of content updates and events being planned for up to two years is very exciting. I do hope that the weird time limit placed on Salmon Run is removed in a future patch though. There’s no reason to have it. I think it’s safe to say that these kids and squids won’t be leaving anytime soon.

FINAL SCORE

9/10

Amazing

Star Wars Wednesday: Who are Rey’s parents?

Who are Rey’s parents?

          A few months ago I tackled one of the biggest mysteries to come out of the new Star Wars trilogy: the identity of the mysterious leader of the First Order, Supreme Leader Snoke. Today I thought it’d be fun to look at the other big secret Lucasfilm has drummed up hype for while we wait for The Last Jedi: the identity of Rey’s parents.

          Rey’s patronage has been a topic of discussion ever since before Force Awakens released. From the very start she’s been advertised as a mysterious girl stranded on Jakku with no knowledge of her past. Force Awakens also made waiting for her parents to arrive a large part of her character, at one point turning down the chance to adventure with Han and Chewie so she can go back to Jakku and continue waiting for her family to return. But who is this mysterious family? Knowing this series, odds are it’s someone we already know. But before we get to the suspects, let’s look at some facts.

What we know for sure

          Amazingly, we know even less about Rey’s parentage than we do about Snoke. Daisy Ridley’s gone on record saying that “a lot was answered in Force Awakens”, perhaps meaning that the answer to the big question has been right under our noses for over a year now.

          We also know that whoever left Rey on Jakku used this ship:

          That doesn’t tell us much, but it’s something to keep in mind.

          It’s also heavily implied that Kylo knows who Rey is. Early on when he’s informed that “a girl” assisted Finn and BB-8 with escaping Jakku, he force pulls the officer closer to him and asks who she is, before the scene cuts away. Also in the novelization and LEGO video game versions of the final lightsaber duel between Kylo and Rey, he remarks “It is you” before fighting back.

          And that’s basically everything. So who are our most likely candidates? Let’s check out the lineup.

Suspect #1: Luke Skywalker

          Upon leaving Force Awakens, everyone was basically in agreement that Luke was Rey’s father and he’d get a big “I am your father” moment in Episode VIII similar to the one his dad gave him.

          A lot of the pieces fall into place. The lightsaber that once belonged to both Luke and Anakin Skywalker called out to Rey and flew into her hand at the end of the movie. Her adventure starts out on a desert planet, just like both Skywalker boys. She’s a natural-born pilot, just like Luke and Anakin. Daisy Ridley also bears somewhat of a passing resemblance to a young Mark Hamill, albeit as a female.

          There’s also the hint dropped by Kylo Ren as he reads Rey’s mind in Force Awakens, noting he sees an island in her mind. The same island that Luke is on at the end of the movie? Who knows.

          It seemed like it was destined to be the obvious route to go for. But a surprise roadblock arrived when the promotion for The Last Jedi began: Mark Hamill.

          You see, Mark Hamill has sort of made himself a reputation as the master of keeping secrets for these sorts of things on Twitter. He’s spoken a lot about how he never once divulged that Vader was his father before Empire Strikes Back released. So why is he going around making jokes about Rey being his daughter?

          The most notable example of this was during the Last Jedi panel at Celebration. Mark Hamill was giving nicknames to all the cast and crew at one point, and upon reaching Daisy Ridley, he called her “my daught-errrrr…co-worker. My co-worker.” Also including the fact that we know Disney takes keeping the secrets of upcoming Marvel Cinematic Universe movies very seriously (and they surely do the same for Star Wars), either Hamill’s trying to throw us off by saying the answer, or Rey isn’t Luke’s daughter.

Suspect #2: Han and Leia

          Ever since I decided the Luke theory wasn’t going anywhere, this has been the most likely option. Rey being the daughter of Han Solo and Princess Leia makes significantly more sense than you’d think, and it even has a few Legends Canon ties that the new movies could’ve taken inspiration from.

          Given that Han and Leia are an enormous focus in the Force Awakens, we already have a lot of evidence thanks to them dropping subtle hints in their dialogue. Han acts as a sort of father figure to Rey throughout the movie, and Leia giving Rey that infamous hug at the end of the movie instead of Chewie (poor guy can’t seem to make it out of the first movie of a trilogy without getting shafted) makes more sense when you realize that she’s her long-lost daughter.

          It’s also implied that Han and Leia got to where they are in Force Awakens after they lost Ben to the Dark Side. Han returned to smuggling, Leia went back to politics. You’d think that losing not one, but two kids would make more sense as to why they were driven apart.

          Plus, Kylo clearly knows who Rey is. We know that he has a soft side, so it would make sense that, while destroying Luke’s academy, he’d take his sister and dump her on Jakku in the middle of nowhere.

          There’s also the fact that one of the most famous parts of the Legends canon was the Solo twins, Han and Leia’s children who later trained to be Jedi. The male twin, Jacen, eventually went to the Dark Side, leading the sister, Jaina, to redeem him. Maybe, as the Lucasfilm story team keeps saying, there is some truth in legends.

Suspect #3: Obi-Wan Kenobi

          Now here’s where things start to get a bit messy. First off there’s no biological way Rey can be Obi-Wan’s daughter; she’d have to be his granddaughter at least. There’s also that pesky “Jedi shall not know love” rule that Anakin broke into a million pieces, leading him to the Dark Side. But seriously, there’s way too many things that tie together to discount this one entirely.

          First off, there’s the issue with Rey’s accent. None of the original trio have a British accent (well, Carrie Fisher did kind of try to have one for a while in A New Hope, but that didn’t last very long). Rey does. Plus, you have to take into consideration that the Force Awakens crew had John Boyega, a British actor, use an American accent for Finn. Obviously she has it for a reason.

          There’s also the fact that Obi-Wan speaks to Rey while she has the lightsaber vision in Maz’s castle, using both spliced clips from Alec Guiness’s time as the character and a new line from Ewan McGregor. He even calls out her name at one point. This would also explain how Rey could use the Jedi mind trick seemingly out of nowhere, as it was her grandfather’s method of choice to dispel a bad situation before it even started. The scenes of her exploring Starkiller Base also bear strong similarities to when you see Obi-Wan turning off the tractor beam on the Death Star in A New Hope.

          There’s also a few options for a potential love interest for Obi-Wan. We know from the Clone Wars series that he had an affair with Satine Kryze, one of the leaders of Mandalore. She was killed off before that series ended, but is there a chance they had a child?

          And even if Satine isn’t Rey’s grandmother, those twenty years Obi-Wan spent on Tatooine gave him ample time to find a partner.

Suspect #4: Emperor Palpatine

          I like to file this one under “OH DEAR GOD PLEASE NO”, because Grandpa Palpatine would be pretty darn awful if you ask me. Remember how terrible the Voldemort twist was in the trainwreck of a script that shall not be named? How would you like that amplified by a thousand?

          But there’s a bit of evidence here. Her lightsaber fighting style bears a strong similarity to the one Palpatine uses in Revenge of the Sith.

          She also hears Palpatine’s weird “Sith battle cry” from Revenge of the Sith in her vision, but by that logic Yoda might as well be her father. The novelization also implies that during her final battle with Kylo, she almost killed him in her rage, but she just left him with a scar insead. I don’t really see this as a reveal of her lineage and more as a foreshadowing of her being tempted by the Dark Side, but to each their own.

          And that’s some of the bigger theories I’ve found among quite a few sillier ones (Ezra of Star Wars Rebels fame and her being a clone of Anakin Skywalker both came up as popular theories). I guess we’ll just have to wait until December to see if any of these are the right answer, because for all we know right now, C-3PO could be her father and we’d probably accept it.

Editorial: How EA can atone for their Battlefront sins

How EA can atone for their Battlefront sins

          To stay Star Wars Battlefront 2015 was a disappointment is an understatement. The game itself was a pretty boring multiplayer shooter, and it didn’t help that there was basically no content at launch whatsoever. You basically had to buy this lackluster game twice just to get all the stuff that actually made it feel complete.

          So now Battlefront II is on the horizon, and one of the biggest pushes EA has been doing in the marketing of the game is apologizing for the greed that plagued the original and promising fixes for all the stuff people didn’t like in the first game. One of the big selling points is that EA is attempting to pull a Splatoon-style content release system for the game, adding in more content later for free. The inclusion of an actual campaign this time instead of the first game’s awful solo missions is a very welcome change.

          As a huge Star Wars fan, today I’d like to go over some of the other stuff I’d like to see Battlefront II improve on over the original to create a game similar to EA’s own Titanfall 2.

          First of all, the maps need serious fixing. While Hoth was their big map that was advertised everywhere for Battlefront 2015 (it was even the box art), playing on it was just atrocious. The map was ludicrously huge, with so many pathways that took you away from the action and went absolutely nowhere, leading to long stretches of time with nothing happening and your character just wandering aimlessly until you either died or found where you needed to be. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you could also find enemy spawn camps and mow down unsuspecting hordes of Stormtroopers for easy points and little effort. The maps need to be made more compact, with set areas for respawning that the enemy team can’t get into. No big wide empty spaces that nobody goes into. Instead put your effort into making smaller maps with more stuff in them and more opportunity to find something to do.

          The other thing that people really didn’t enjoy about the first game was the flying. You didn’t feel so much like you were piloting the Millennium Falcon. Instead flying stages were more like aerial bumper cars, and they moved about as quickly as a sloth late for work. While the reintroduction of space battles (a staple of the original Battlefront games from back in the day) is very much welcome, I can’t say I’ll be enjoying them if they control exactly the same. All they have to do to make the flying more bearable is give you more control over the speed of the ships. Go fast when trying to locate enemy fighters or escape a bogey, and slow down to take out opponents. When everyone is constantly going the same speed, finding enemies ends up harder than actually fighting them.

          It’s also nice to hear that the much-hated “card” battle system from the first game won’t be making a return, instead being replaced by a much more conventional class system. This is all fine and dandy, but as this is an EA shooter I’m expecting each class to have an array of weapons they can use to customize their character instead of one build per character like Overwatch. Again, nothing wrong with that. What I’m worried about is that, knowing EA, they’ll pull some pre-order shtick like they did last time and give those people a completely broken weapon that will plague the game for the first week or so. Remember how the people who pre-ordered the season pass got the Han Solo blaster that could one-shot basically everyone early on in the game? The stupid thing was one of the main reasons people dropped the game days after release. For Battlefront II everyone should be on a level-playing field from Day 1, regardless if they paid extra for the game or not. If you absolutely must have a pre-order bonus, EA, make it cosmetic.

          Speaking of cosmetics, don’t make me play the game for a billion hours just so I can unlock Shadowtrooper armor or a Rodian costume. Give me those options earlier.

          That’s just a few ways I really want this game to improve on where the original failed. I honestly want nothing more than for EA to truly prove they’re worthy of this massive license. With the amount of Star Wars projects they’ve apparently got brewing and their first impression not exactly great, they need a comeback on this one.

Song of the Week

          Alderaan, The Throne – Star Wars: The Old Republic

Princess Principal Episode 3 Review

Tea for two

(This review contains spoilers!)

          For the past two weeks, Princess Principal has really wowed me with how it was able to combine beautiful animation with incredibly intelligent writing to create some of the best anime I’ve seen this year thus far. Unfortunately, this week was their first misstep, as this episode felt like something out of a pretty average show.

          Picking up where last week left off, this episode stars Ange once again, as she and Beatrice go on a mission together, while trying to earn each other’s trust. That big reveal from the end of last week? It’s explained briefly in the cold open and is never mentioned again. What relationship does Ange have with Princess? Are they sisters? Twins? Best friends? All questions that should’ve been answered but weren’t for whatever reason.

          Instead, we got an entire episode dedicated to someone who’s already proven themselves to be the Jar Jar Binks of the series: Beatrice. The whole 22 minutes is spent listening to her whine and complain about how she hates spies and loves Princess and doesn’t want her to be associated and blah-blah-blah. It doesn’t help that her voice actress screeches every line like she was in a really bad high school anime. She’s not fun to listen to, and what she’s saying isn’t very well written either. Every second she’s onscreen I want her offscreen, which isn’t great when you’re talking about a major character.

          This episode also suffers a pretty big downgrade when it comes to the animation. Gone are the warm oranges and greens of the last two episodes, replaced by boring and overused gray and teal. I don’t know if this episode was outsourced to another studio to save time or if they blew the budget on the first two, but for this show’s sake I sincerely hope it’s the first one.

          Even the spy stuff isn’t that good this week. Ange’s use of altering gravity is utilized more, and it’s a lot of fun to watch. Unfortunately besides that, nothing much exciting happens on this mission. It’s actually pretty darn uneventful when you think about it. Beatrice changing her voice is fun, but sticking a cool ability to a bad character doesn’t exactly fix them.

          I really hope that this episode was just a fluke they made to develop Beatrice’s character a bit more. The big problem here is that Beatrice’s character isn’t very fun. Plus with the awesome visuals and clever wordplay missing this week, this episode kind of feels like what Princess Principal would’ve been if not for the great showrunners.

FINAL SCORE

3/10

Bad

Crash Bandicoot N-Sane Trilogy Review

Crash Bash

(This review contains minor spoilers!)

          I didn’t think much of Crash Bandicoot when it came out. I wasn’t super old at the time, and I was basically glued to Nintendo systems around the time and didn’t care much as to what Sony had to offer. All I knew about Crash was that he was orange and had some pretty weird commercials starring this unholy demon.

          Didn’t exactly sell me on the concept.

          But after trying out the game in the fun Easter Egg included in Uncharted 4 last year, I was really excited when the N-Sane Trilogy was announced and I’d get to see what all the fuss was about. So is Crash Bandicoot N-Sane Trilogy worth your time, or is it yet another recent case of misplaced nostalgia gone awry?

          The first thing you’ll notice upon starting the game is that it has personality the likes of which are hard to find anymore. Crash himself and his female counterpart Coco have loads of subtle and adorable animations that bring these silent protagonists to life, making them a joy to watch. Crash just exudes flavour, and the hilarious enemies and oftentimes beautiful backgrounds make this world feel truly alive.

          The second thing you’ll notice is that the N-Sane Trilogy lives up to its name when it comes to the difficulty at times. This game takes no prisoners and gives no mercy to you as you jump, spin, swim, ride baby polar bears and even motorbike through the wacky world of gaming’s second favourite marsupial.

          Gaming’s first favourite marsupial is probably the titular stars of the all-time classic Koala Brothers Outback Adventures.

When are we getting a remake of that, Vicarious Visions?

This leads to the one big issue with the N-Sane Trilogy: the original Crash Bandicoot hasn’t aged super well. A lot of the platforming trials feel like while they might’ve been fine in the 90’s when 3D platformers were still in their baby stages, a lot of the deaths you receive when playing this part of the N-Sane Trilogy are due to a lack of depth perception in seeing exactly where the next platform is in front of you, as well as an occasional trick jump that you need to be prepared for. One early level sees Crash clear out a wall of boxes, only to find a pit immediately behind it. You can’t really expect the pit, so it’s a life basically guaranteed to be lost.

Despite this, I’m happy to say that Crash Bandicoot 2 and Crash Bandicoot Warped have both aged extremely well. It’s immediately obvious that the original Naughty Dog developers used the first game as a testing ground for the stuff used in the sequels, because the N-Sane Trilogy versions of them are some of the best non-Nintendo developed 3D platformers on the market right now. Gone are the depth perception challenges and frustrating difficulty. In both 2 and Warped the difficulty feels much fairer, resulting in an extremely satisfying experience I found it hard to tear myself away from.

The gameplay is fairly simplistic. You pilot Crash in a straight line to the end of the stage, collecting various doodads along the way, such as tribal masks to give you extra hits and invincibility and magic crystals to unlock boss fights. The villainous Doctor Cortex has employed everything and the kitchen sink to put a stop to the bandicoot’s antics, and each level requires you to outwit enemies and perform some pretty difficult platforming challenges to make it to the end. Each level is wonderfully unique, and you’ll never feel like you’re playing a clone of something you’ve already done. Some of the levels that try a wacky mechanic don’t always work (Warped’s motorbike levels are just plain awful), but every level that just sticks to the tried and true platforming is fantastic. The famous Indiana Jones boulder chase levels are some of the hardest in the collection, but they’re also the most fun in that you have no idea what the game’s going to throw at you next.

I think that’s what I liked the most about the Crash Bandicoot N-Sane Trilogy. No matter how much I played, I never knew what was coming next. Naughty Dog did a great job at creating these games, two of which have managed to defy the odds and remain some of the best platformers ever up to two decades after release, and Vicarious Visions has made them look better than ever thanks to the delightfully personable animations on Crash and crew. While the first game is definitely skippable, I’d absolutely recommend checking out this game to play 2 and Warped. In a time when nostalgia is running rampant and with so many failed attempts to capitalize on it like Yooka Laylee around, it’s nice to know that even with so much changing, some games will still be awesome.

FINAL SCORE

8/10

Great

Tekken 7 Review

Perfectly bearable

(This review contains minor spoilers!)

          Sometimes fighting games can feel like a dime a dozen. Between the Street Fighters, Mortal Kombats and everything in between, it doesn’t become long before they all start to blend together into basically the exact same game over and over again. You pick your favourite dude or dudette from the character select screen, learn their combos (or the most powerful move that is the easiest to pull off), and then put it away. While I love the genre, it’s hard not to admit it’s fallen into something of a slump outside of the competitive scene in recent years.

          Although it’s not going to break any records or single-handedly bring the genre back to its glory days, Tekken 7 is a honey of a game that left me feeling pawsitively delighted.

          As someone who’s never touched the Tekken franchise outside of last year’s Pokken Tournament, I found the gameplay to be thankfully simplistic compared to other franchises. While each character has a laundry list of insane combos the truly savvy can pull off, the game is simple enough that anyone who’s never played a side-scrolling fighter before will feel right at home with a little practice. Each button corresponds to one of your characters arms or legs, and pressing them individually will throw a punch or kick. Depending on where your character is standing you can throw low, medium or high attacks, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Low attacks are harder to pull off, but break through shields. High attacks leave you a sitting duck if you are blocked, but they have the potential to deal very heavy damage. Medium attacks are pretty standard, dealing average amounts of damage while still being blocked by shields. The system can get pretty complex once combos and special moves are thrown into the mix, overall the system makes it very easy to get your bearings.

          Tekken 7 boasts a hefty amount of playable characters, each with their own unique and fun abilities. There are a lot of fun and creative characters here, including a dude in a mech, Akuma of Street Fighter fame, and even a panda. Yeah, just a regular ordinary panda. There’s a grizzly bear too. It’s amazing. I’m basically unstoppable as either of them.

          Even better, the characters are almost infinitely customizable. Each one has an enormous list of cool outfits and accessories you can dress them up in, from retro 3D glasses to silly hats. Instead of being limited to what palette swaps the creators make, you can freely create the character you want to play as.

          You have to unlock the majority of the costumes however, in what is easily the best mode of the game: Treasure Mode. This mode is a gauntlet of foes you must get through, and defeating them net you treasure chests with goodies. It’s a lot of fun to climb the ranks and fight tougher and tougher foes and see what more insane gimmicks will be thrown at you, like super speed battles and high damage mode.

          Less entertaining is the story mode, which I’m pretty sure will only appeal to longtime Tekken fans. I don’t know anything about the characters or who they are, and the plot didn’t help me learn much. Equally annoying is the fact that you spend significantly more time watching cutscenes instead of actually playing the game in this mode. At no point did I have any clue what was going on, so I lost interest fairly quickly and played more treasure mode instead.

          Easily the most grizzly part of the game, however, is the Online modes. Getting your confidence destroyed by people online is as fun and soulcrushing as it always is, but actually finding a match is harder than taking on a real bear. More often than not you’ll be alerted that an opponent has been found, and then be promptly disconnected from them and tossed back into matchmaking. Sometimes you’ll actually make it into a battle, get halfway through, and then be booted back to the menu for some unknown reason. When you actually manage to find and stay connected to a match it’s just as fun as playing offline, but the challenge of actually getting to that point makes me feel that I can’t recommend this game if playing online matches is a big selling point for you.

          While Tekken 7 can feel a little “been-there done-that” when it comes to the game mechanics, it’s one of the most fun classic-style fighters I’ve played in a really long time. The variety in the character selection and customization is unmatched in the genre, the fighting is delightfully simple yet still packing a lot of complexity, and Treasure Mode is a blast. I also think that fans of the franchise will enjoy Story Mode, but as I don’t know anything about Tekken lore it just wasn’t for me. If the devs fix the online servers to cause less crashes, I think this has the potential to become one of the fighting game champs.

FINAL SCORE

8/10

Great

Micro Machines World Series Review

Almost as fun as sitting in traffic

(This review is spoiler-free!)

          Sometimes you’ll find a game that boggles the mind in some way or another. Maybe it’s because it has some awesome game mechanics, a spectacular story, or a soundtrack that goes right on your playlist.

          Or sometimes it’s because it’s one of the worst pieces of garbage you can’t believe actually made it to store shelves.

          Welcome to Micro Machines World Series, the latest entry to the Worst Game of 2017 pool. This game is the latest in the Micro Machines series of games based off the famous toy line of the same name. It’s also a complete waste of time, and is not only one of the worst racing games I’ve ever played, but one of the worst games I’ve ever played bar none.

          Let’s start with the facts. This is a top-down racing game inspired by the toys. You can play as many different types of vehicles, including tanks, fire trucks and the like. Doesn’t seem too hard to pull off, right?

          Much to my surprise, just moments into the game it becomes apparent that this one is literally unplayable. Just trying to turn corners is a monumental feat. The car veers out like a lawnmower trying to figure skate with the slightest tap of the Control Stick, and the turning circle makes you feel less like a police car and more like a drunken stunt driver.

          You’re basically doomed for last place when competing against CPU players because I swear they cheat. Their cars don’t have nearly the same turning circle as yours, and they can make the sharp corners quickly and easily. I guess since they’re programmed to play the game it’s kind of unfair, but I stood no chance against these racing champs.

          There’s also a battle mode, but this manages to control even worse than the racing. Your car continues to veer off in whatever direction you’re pointing in while trying to turn, except now you have the awful controls with the added pain of trying to aim at enemy vehicles on top of it. It’s a near impossibility to find your foes, let alone defeat them thanks to the controls you’re given.

          This game costs $32.99, by the way. Just thought I’d clear that up.

          As one final experiment, I decided to try the online mode and see if anyone was playing. After a minute and a half spent waiting for a game, I was finally placed into a match with half human players and half CPUs. And this is where things started to get silly.

          An early part of the course featured a sharp turn followed by a ramp. The ramp requires momentum to clear the gap it’s built over, meaning that you can’t go over it slowly or you’ll fall off the table.

          Because of the awful controls and turning circle, myself and all the other humans I was playing with fell off the ramp in seconds. The kicker? All the CPUs cleared it no problem. After having a good laugh I turned the game off and gave up on the thing.

          Micro Machines World Series is the pits. Never before have I seen a game with such a simple concept fail so spectacularly. Every level feels like the ice level thanks to the awful turning circle on the cars that make crashing into things an inevitability, rendering all modes completely unplayable. If I were you, I’d take this one back to the shop.

FINAL SCORE

1/10

Garbage

Editorial: Assassin’s Creed Origins and strawberry jam

Assassin’s Creed Origins and strawberry jam

          Last week we talked about how Ubisoft once again screwed the pooch when it came to the deluxe editions of Assassin’s Creed Origins. Today I thought it’d be fun to flip the script and look at how this very same game could have the potential to fix not only the exhausted Assassin’s Creed franchise, but also the notorious company it’s being made by.

          Assassin’s Creed is one of the biggest franchises that’s suffered from what I like to call Madden Syndrome. A series afflicted by said illness releases at least one game a year, has minimal to no changes to the formula whatsoever, and bares more than a passing resemblance in gameplay to the most recently released installment. While games by EA Sports (like NBA, FIFA and the previously mentioned Madden) can usually get away with this considering they need to update the real life rosters each year and, let’s be honest, nobody’s going to change the rules of basketball anytime soon, other companies have been cashing in on this annual release nonsense, with Ubisoft giving the same treatment to their golden goose franchise.

          This led to a mass of games featuring everyone’s favourite white-hooded hoodlums arriving in game stores every November. There were some winners in the bunch, such as the unanimously praised Black Flag, but what initially looked to be a promising franchise was quickly turning into a game series with each new installment becoming more and more similar to the last.

          Things reached a tipping point in 2014. Assassin’s Creed: Rogue failed to turn many heads, and people were really starting to grow tired of the now-stale formula the games had repeated. And then it all went horribly wrong. Assassin’s Creed Unity launched clearly unfinished and rushed out the door. Characters not rendering was considered a normality in the game, falling through the world was no real surprise, and many said that they never had a session with the game without encountering a bug or glitch of some kind. This was one of the first games to really drive home the point that pre-ordering games isn’t such a great idea.

          One more forgettable installment later, and in 2016 Ubisoft announced that the mainline Assassin’s Creed games would be taking the year off for the first time since 2008. Instead of being disappointed, most were pleased. Fans were glad that Ubisoft was taking their time with the next game, and others were just happy they didn’t have to deal with another one of these games exactly the same as the last one.

          So now we’ve arrived at present day, and Assassin’s Creed Origins looks like the most promising installment in the franchise since Black Flag took us to the high seas. This new installment seems to be taking inspiration from the franchise’s spiritual predecessor, Prince of Persia, instead of the more recent Creed games. Bosses appear to be a big focus this time around, a first for the franchise, including what look to be giant monsters inspired by Ancient Egyptian mythology. The setting way back at the dawn of Civilization in Egypt is also a much more creative setting than yet another old Renaissance-era city. If Ubisoft pulls this one off, this long-since exhausted franchise could find new life.

          And I think this variety is exactly what the company needs to pull itself out of the garbage hole it’s gotten so comfortable in and become a respectable company again. One of the biggest problems with Assassin’s Creed is that people got tired of the same game over and over and over again every year. Having this unique setting plus some cool tweaks to the gameplay is exactly what they need to get people excited for it again.

          It’s like going to the supermarket to buy jam. If you get tired of strawberry jam, you’ll stop buying strawberry jam. Maybe you’ll try raspberry or blueberry or grape instead. Ubisoft’s problem for years is that all they’ve been offering is strawberry jam to people sick and tired of it. Origins throwing series conventions out the window and trying something new is exactly the blueberry jam people have been wanting for years now.

Song of the Week

          Randy Dandy Oh – Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag