Why, Cartoon Network?
(This review contains
spoilers!)
Ronaldo episodes stand at the same
place as Lars episodes for me: complete and utter wastes of time focusing on
unlikeable characters that don’t further the plot at all. And, despite what
Cartoon Network’s social media would make you think, Rocknaldo is no different.
See, yesterday Cartoon Network started
a buzz by posting an as-of-yet unseen gem on their social media, announcing
that if we, the fans, could identify the gem type we would know what new
character we’d meet in this episode. Being the ravenous fanbase that it is, Steven Universe fans quickly identified
the gem as a bloodstone, and hype was running rampant for an all-new gem to
shake up the status quo in what initially looked like a throwaway episode.
I wasn’t even halfway through the
episode before I realized we’d been bamboozled.
This week focuses on (ugh) Ronaldo as
he decides to join the Crystal Gems to get a better understanding of them. The
Gems are initially dismissive, but Steven argues it’s harmless to give him a
change. Ronaldo decides to pick out a Crystal Gem name for himself, and what
does he decide on? Why, Bloodstone of course!
While I spent the rest of the episode
hoping and praying that the real Bloodstone would show up, it became obvious
very quickly that this storyline was going nowhere fast. Ronaldo feels upset
that he’s being left behind while Steven accompanies the Gems on missions, and
the episode ends with him leaving the Crystal Gems (I use “leaving” for lack of
a better term since he never really joined in the first place) and Steven
reconciling with him. Ronaldo also shows that he’s going to start putting in
work to help the other citizens of Beach City to help understand the Gems. And
then the credits roll.
So is there anything good about this
episode? Well, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me laugh a few times. The
episode opens with Ronaldo talking about how “rock people” are dangerous,
listing off several Crystal Gem traits. At one point he blurts out “They hate
men!”, and that got a good laugh out of me. Ronaldo also shows off his “gem
weapon”, that being a sword replica from the anime “Me and My Father Who Is
Also My Sword” or something along that line. The episode also continues to
preach Steven Universe’s core message
of love and tolerance, even when you disagree with the other person, and that’s
honestly a lesson we need to hear as much as possible in times like these.
So, yeah. Two lines from Ronaldo and a
nice message that you can get from nearly every other episode of the show.
Other than that this episode is a complete and utter waste of time.
This entire season has been
mindboggling, especially following the excellent Season 3. I legitimately went
back and counted, and I found that aside from the StevenBomb, we’ve only had four
really stellar episodes this entire season: Buddy’s
Book, Mindful Education, Last One Out of Beach City, and Storm in the Room. Other than those and
the StevenBomb we’ve had episodes that range from entertaining fluffy
nothingness to downright 11 minutes of pain.
This is getting legitimately frustrating, as the pacing of
the show has gone all out of whack. If you look back at the last two seasons,
we’ve already begun the final storylines at the same point in time we’re at
now: Peridot’s redemption in Season 2 and the Amethyst/Jasper arc in Season 3.
Right now there’s literally nothing going on, now that Steven seems to have
relaxed his issues with his mother and the Diamonds still seem to be more of an
endgame. It feels like the show is standing around waiting for something cool
to happen, and as a viewer that’s just unacceptable.
If Steven Universe wants
to stay afloat, it needs to do better than release pictures teasing big
developments that aren’t delivered on. Screw this episode.
FINAL SCORE
2/10
Awful
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