Sunday, 23 April 2017

My final thoughts on Alice to Zorokou

          

          Well, I didn’t think we’d be getting one of these this early on.

          I’ve been reviewing anime on this blog for over a year now, and in that time I’ve only dropped one show I reviewed weekly: last year’s really bad adaption of the Ace Attorney games. Today I’ve decided what will be the first anime to join it in the hall of shame, as I cannot bear to watch another second of Alice to Zorokou Episode 4.

          This anime’s been on a pretty steady decline since the pilot, and I kind of figured this was coming after last week’s episode stuffed with filler and corporate sponsorship. While Episode 4 is nowhere near as mind-numbingly boring as the pilot to Sagrada Reset was, it’s still enough for me to call it the last straw.

          It was just talking and talking about things we already know about from the last three episodes. Then at one point they try to throw a curveball where someone says Sana might not be human…which then segues into more talking!

          I was so bored that I looked at the video’s progress bar to see how much longer I’d have to put up with it. Much to my horror I saw that I was only seven minutes in, at which point I looked back at the screen to see what must be the most uncomfortable moment in recent anime history.

          Sana is drugged by the evil hairy-arm wielding agent from last week, and once she’s injected with the serum she pees all over the floor. I find it hilarious that this show can barely animate their main characters half the time, but when they need something gross and unnecessary happen they make it look as good as they can. We then go into Sana’s mind where she meets either her mother or a future version of herself or whatever. Upon meeting this apparition, Sana, who I’m sure has plenty of questions about the legitimacy of her humanity as we saw just a few moments earlier, makes a comment about her breast size.

          Who wrote this?

          You mean to tell me that Sana, who looks to be about eight years old at most, who’s been separated from the only family she’s ever known, and who just learned she might not even be human at all is making stupid and juvenile boob jokes!?

          No. I’m done.

          I’m not scoring this episode either. It doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of joining trash like Lego Worlds and the Sagrada Reset pilot among others at the absolute bottom of the barrel stuff I’ve reviewed on this blog. This episode just plain doesn’t care about anything, so I won’t either.

          Between the awful animation, the inexplicable corporate sponsorship, the garbage writing, the eye-gougingly painful CGI and the overdose of talking and exposition, I cannot stand another second of Alice to Zorokou. If you’re looking for a new action anime to watch this season, I beg of you, watch Re:Creators instead.

FINAL SCORE (This Episode)
DISQUALIFIED

FINAL SCORE (Overall)
2/10

Awful

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