Puyo Puyo Tetris Review

Let the blocks hit the floor

(This review contains minor spoilers!)

          The only game I can say with complete confidence that I’m actually good at is Tetris. I can line up those blocks like nobody else. On the other hand, I’ve never played Puyo Puyo before now, so this is my first time checking it out. So is this crossover worth your time?

          In my opinion probably not, unless you’re a big fan of both Puyo Puyo and Tetris.

          Much to my surprise (and subsequent disappointment), this isn’t a marriage of Puyo Puyo and Tetris. Instead it’s more like a Puyo Puyo game with Tetris added as the integral gimmick. Now this wouldn’t be a problem if Puyo Puyo was fun to play, but sadly it isn’t. For those who don’t know it’s sort of like a combination of Bejewled and Tetris. Cute globs of goo fall from the sky, and matching four of the same colours allows them to disappear. Your main goal is to line them up in a way that creates combos, removing lots of lines at once.

          While it sounds fun on paper, in practice the game is really, really boring. It’s much slower pace than Tetris, and it can be immensely frustrating when it seems like the game just doesn’t want to give you the colour you need. Every time a Puyo Puyo level came up I groaned, because each of them could go up to seven minutes in length because of how slow they were.

          Fortunately, Tetris is just as good as ever here. I really wish it had gotten equal screentime as Puyo Puyo though, because basically every fourth level would be Tetris with the rest of them being Puyo Puyo.

          The game’s main line of gameplay is the “story” mode, but calling the half-assed plot they give you a story is stretching the truth pretty far. It’s basically just levels of the titular puzzles strung together by cutscenes of shrieking anime girls. While at first I thought the story would be so bad it would be good, by the third world I started skipping it entirely.

          This wouldn’t be so much of a problem if I could escape the characters during gameplay, but Puyo Puyo Tetris refuses to allow you to escape from its anime iron grip! The characters cheer you on during gameplay, using the same lines over and over again every time you clear a line.

          Every.

          Single.

          Time.

          You don’t know how grating it is to hear “Yes!” “Solved it!” “Fireball!” “Ballistic!” and the like over and over and over and over and over and over and over. It legitimately got to a point where I just couldn’t take it anymore and refused to go any further in the game.

          There’s also various singleplayer and multiplayer modes, but I refuse to play any more of this game. Much to my dismay the character voices follow you to these modes as well, and there isn’t a standard Marathon Tetris mode anywhere to be found, so there’s really no point.

          Puyo Puyo Tetris is a mediocre game that quickly becomes an annoying one. Maybe if I enjoyed playing Puyo Puyo I would’ve enjoyed this game more, but as I don’t this is a game I cannot recommend in good frame of mind. The story is childish to the extreme, the non-campaign modes are a waste of time, the lack of a Marathon mode limits replayability, and the constant, inescapable voice acting turns the game from a decent puzzler to an exercise in patience. If you really want to see what this game is all about, just download the free demo from the Nintendo Switch eShop.

FINAL SCORE

3/10

Bad

Editorial: Ubisoft’s Road to Redemption

Ubisoft’s Road to Redemption

          One of the biggest shockers at this year’s E3 was that Ubisoft, the company long since regarded as the kings of E3 cringe compilations, had easily one of the best conferences overall. Ubisoft finally decided to cut all the crap that’s been plaguing their shows for years, including Aisha Tyler’s terrible attempts at memes, extended interviews with developers, and awful trailers with scripted “voice chat” overlayed.

          Instead, this conference was all about games, games and more games, just like it should be. Readers of my blog will know of my…let’s call it a distaste for Ubisoft’s games and their business practices, and while I still have a boycott on actually purchasing any of their games instead of just renting them, their E3 looked like one of the most hated companies in gaming might be turning over a new leaf.

          And then the Assassin’s Creed: Origins deluxe editions happened.

          Last November I wrote an editorial called “Deluxe Confusion”, where I talked about how insane the deluxe editions for Watch Dogs 2 had gotten (check it out here if you haven’t). While Ubisoft still hasn’t matched the sheer ludicrousness that was the nine (!!!) special editions the original Watch Dogs got, Assassin’s Creed: Origins is hiding a few dirty little secrets of its own in these special editions.

          For starters, yes, you need a spreadsheet again just to keep track of what each of the five special editions get you. Come on, guys! Why is it so hard for them to do a “Definitive Edition” of sorts that gives you literally everything? Even the off-the-charts level of expensiveness that is the top tier edition for Origins doesn’t net you everything!

          Speaking of that, I think it’s time to look at the prices for each of these editions. Here’s this year’s spreadsheet for what each version of the game nets you:

          As you can see, just as I mentioned there isn’t one single edition that nets you all the little goodies. Once again, if you’re a true Assassin’s Creed fan that wants all the extra goodies and don’t want to go through eBay to get them, you need to buy three copies of the game. In order to get the two exclusive statues and the special amulet, you must buy the God’s Collector’s Edition ($160 Canadian) and the Dawn of the Creed Collector’s Edition ($210 Canadian). So that brings us up to a current total of $370.

          The good news is that the rest of the stuff is all included in the mighty Dawn of the Creed Legendary Edition. The bad news…well, I’ll just let Ubisoft’s pre-order page speak for itself.

          No, you don’t need to adjust your monitor. You’re looking at a real deluxe edition that will set you back $1000 Canadian. All that for a game with a MSRP of $80!

          So the final price to get everything Origins has to offer is $1370, and you can use the extra two discs as lovely additions to your gaming drink coaster set you started last year when Watch Dogs 2 came out. I think it’s safe to say that even if E3 is a sign of good things to come from Ubisoft in the next few years, we’ve still got a ways to go before they actually become a respectable developer.

          I think one of the first ways they can fix their business practices is to cut the crap with these deluxe editions. While they’ve never quite repeated the nine edition insanity that Watch Dogs had, there’s still the fact you need to pay over $1000 and get three copies of the exact same game if you want to get all these goodies.

          There’s no denying people like buying Ubisoft’s games. The success of Assassin’s Creed is a testament to that. But if they keep pushing the price higher and higher, I think the bucketloads they sell every year will keep requiring one less bucket.

Song of the Week

          Molgera – The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

Princess Principal Episode 1 Review

A lie within a lie

(This review contains spoilers!)

          Well, this was awesome.

          As usual, a lot of the big name shows this season didn’t catch my attention too much. I gave Kakegurui a shot, but I found the animation style wasn’t too pleasant to look at. So instead I went looking for diamonds in the rough, anime without the massive fanbases that seem interesting. One of those was Princess Principal.

          And I’m sure glad I gave this one a shot. This anime is exceptional in so many ways, creating an atmosphere both somewhat playful yet still brutally dark. Set in a steampunk Victorian London, this first episode introduces the main characters in their day to day routines of being spies and doing spy stuff.

          The atmosphere and presentation are the true stars of the show here. We’re not in Kansas (or in this case Japan) anymore, and the art direction displays that masterfully. The red and orange city coated in gray and green fog is just plain beautiful, and the music is splendid. Think of it as jazzy 1920’s style stuff mixed with Madoka Magica’s more eerie tunes (according to research, it’s the same composer). The two go together wonderfully, giving the show much more strength as a result.

          Unfortunately it’s a bit of a double edged sword, because despite the plot still being by all accounts a work of genius, it doesn’t quite compare to the visuals. Still, it’s a darn good self-contained story that does a great job of introducing the skillsets of the girls. Well…most of them. The titular princess is basically absent here. But other than that, each girl gets a chance to shine.

          The writing on the lead girl is especially interesting, and escalates this episode from a good watch to one that just begs to be seen again to catch all the subtleties. Early on she mentions that nearly everything she says is a lie, and they do literally everything they can with that concept in 22 minutes. So many little word twists and tweaks are hidden that make sense later on that make this episode a wordsmith’s dream come true.

          While you can never tell from the pilot, this episode makes it look like Princess Principal might be the hidden gem show of the season. The art direction and music fit the atmosphere beautifully, the story is great and adventurous, and the writing is beautiful. If I had one gripe, there wasn’t a lot of worldbuilding or development on the characters outside of the lead. But there’s plenty of time for that later. As it stands right now, I can’t wait for next week’s episode.

FINAL SCORE

9/10

Amazing

Re:Creators Episode 14 Review

The Creative Process

(This review contains spoilers!)

          One of the more interesting aspects of Re:Creators is the creators themselves. As much as this show is about action and excitement, there’s a very human element to it in that there are ordinary people meeting the characters they created in real life.

          This week started off the second arc for real, as we visited the most exciting of locations: a board room! How very intense!

          In all seriousness, this episode was definitely one that focused on the creators more than the creations. While the snazzy new opening and ending have teased that we’re getting two new characters (with one of them even appearing at the end of the episode), first we have to set into motion the creation of the massive crossover the heroes will do battle with Altair in.

          This leads to a lot of talking…and talking…and talking…and then the episode ends. I honestly found it tough to stay focused on watching this week because of just how much discussing we had to get through to get to the new character reveal at the end.

          One thing the episode did for me was lead me to the perfect analogy for Re:Creators: it’s the anime equivalent of Lucky Charms cereal. The weird grainy bits are gross, but they’re worth eating to get to the marshmallows. Similarly, the talking and explaining and discussing in this show can be really tiresome, but the action and creation interactions make it worth the wait.

          I think this episode served as a way for the showrunners to vent their frustrations about working in the anime industry. Basically all of it was arguing and talking about how inadequate they feel. I get it, creating’s tough, but did we really need an entire episode dedicated to that? We should’ve had the introduction of the new character be the A-plot this week and the creating the story stuff be the B-plot. That’s just how I would do it, but hey, what do I know?

FINAL SCORE

5/10

Average

Spider-Man: Homecoming Review

Amazing, Spectacular, and Superior

(This review contains minor spoilers!)

          Before we start, I should probably give my thoughts on the five previous web-slinging movies. I’m a huge fan of Spider-Man as a character, but I feel that that neither the Raimi trilogy nor the Amazing movies really captured the spirit of the comics.

          Needless to say I was thrilled when Sony announced they were partnering up with Marvel Studios and Spidey was coming to the MCU. I was even more excited when Civil War happened and Tom Holland blew everyone away as a Spider-Man closer to the comics than any we’ve seen onscreen before. So how does his first solo-outing fare?

          I can safely say that Homecoming is easily the definitive Spider-Man film I’ve been waiting years for, and it captures the character in a way that even many comic writers struggle to do.

          Picking up after Civil War, all Peter wants to do is be accepted into the Avengers now that he’s successfully chased off Captain America in Germany. Tony still doesn’t think he’s ready, even saying he should be more of a “friendly neighborhood Spider-Man” (ha ha).

          Meanwhile, there’s a new villain on the loose known as the Vulture, a flying menace who’s stealing old Avengers tech for his own use. Spidey decides it’s his responsibility to stop him, and a chase across New York ensues.

          The real highlight here is Tom Holland as Spider-Man himself. While Civil War was a fantastic introduction to the MCU incarnation of the character, Homecoming truly proves that this is the ultimate cinematic version of Peter Parker. Holland does a fantastic job of juggling both the nerdy math-wiz of Peter Parker and the smartass quips of Spider-Man, something neither Tobey Maguire nor Andrew Garfield were able to do convincingly. Also for the first time ever Peter actually feels like a real high school kid, instead of a man close to 30 years old hanging out in high school for some unknown reason.

          It’s also nice that for once we don’t have to go through the typical spider bite/Uncle Ben dies/great power and great responsibility shtick we’ve already seen twice again. The movie hints at Spidey’s origin a few times (the spider bite is even name dropped, so they didn’t change him to be an Inhuman or something in this universe), but it’s obvious that the writers know that everyone already knows how Peter got his powers and don’t really need a refresher.

          The movie also does something I never thought I’d see in a Spider-Man movie: it gives Peter Parker and Spider-Man equal screentime! What a surprise! For once we don’t need to cut back to Peter freaking out over his girlfriend every five minutes and we can really enjoy the webslinging action. Words cannot describe how happy it makes me that the main focus of a movie called Spider-Man is actually Spider-Man for once instead of Peter Parker’s relationships with whatever girlfriend they decided to give him. Remember how Amazing Spider-Man 2 was basically The Gwen Stacy Movie? Here, while Peter has a love interest (that they do a lot of cool stuff with admittedly), she doesn’t hog the spotlight and allows Peter and his powers to be the main focus.

          Vulture is also a fantastic villain, played expertly by Michael Keaton. Despite being a much more “street-level” villain than the likes of Loki or Ego, his story is one of the most compelling of the MCU villains to date. He’s just an average blue-collar worker with a chip on his shoulder that the rich and famous Avengers sit in million dollar mansion while he slaves away as a lowly construction worker. I do wish we saw more of his turn from average joe to insane supervillain, but he ended up being one of the most intimidating villains the MCU has ever produced.

          My one gripe with these two (and my only real issue with the movie overall) is that they hold the spotlight on themselves so much that there’s not much room for other characters. Despite what the posters and trailers may make you believe, Tony Stark is barely in this. He plays a crucial role, but only shows up in crucial scenes as a result. Robert Downey Jr. is excellent as the character as he always is, but this isn’t Marvel Spider-Man Team-Up: The Movie. The spotlight is rightfully focused on Peter’s story, and Tony often comes across as more of a necessary hindrance to him than a true partner.

          Peter’s school friends are also great fun. His pal Ned gets the most screentime out of all of them, and he provides a lot of laughs throughout. As for Zendaya’s mysterious Michelle, she’s similar to Tony Stark in that basically every scene she’s in was featured in the trailers. While she’s a fun character, I found she didn’t have much of a purpose in a movie except to setup what sounds like a much larger role in the next Spidey flick. You do find out who she is at the end of the movie, and while I won’t spoil it here, I will say that it’s a new and unique take on the character from the comics that I’m incredibly interested to see play out in future installments.

          The movie is also filled to the brim with references to not just past MCU properties, but also classic Spidey characters. I won’t spoil all of them, but I will say that eagle-eyed viewers can spot characters like Betty Brant, Cindy Moon, and even a potential name-drop of one of the most popular non-Parker characters to ever hold the Spider-Man name.

          As always the action sequences are top notch, although Civil War’s airport fight still remains unbeaten when it comes to pure spectacle. They do a lot of fun and creative stuff with Spidey’s web-shooters, especially with all the extra gadgets he has in his Stark-upgraded suit. The ferry scene that was used in all the trailers is a complete blast, utilizing his new gear in fantastic ways.

          Spider-Man: Homecoming is everything I wanted out of Spidey’s first MCU outing and then some. The movie does a fantastic job at balancing Peter’s high-school life and his superhero life, never making it feel like you’re getting too much of either one of them. The villain is incredibly intimidating, and while I wish we’d spent more time with them, Peter’s friends all have fun parts to play. It easily makes my top three MCU movies so far.

          Oh, and make sure you stay all the way to the end of the credits for this one. It’s absolutely worth it this time, trust me.

FINAL SCORE

10/10

Legendary

Editorial: Is 4K gaming the next VR?

Is 4K gaming the next VR?

          I don’t know if you paid attention during Microsoft’s E3 conference, but they’re pretty darn excited about the hardware capabilities of the new Xbox One X. According to them, it’s the most powerful console ever created, capable of rendering graphics the likes of which have never been seen in gaming…outside of a PC, that is.

          This is just adding to the current gaming craze: the big 4K. As TVs capable of streaming video of super high definition started rolling out, both Sony and Microsoft have very quickly jumped onto the hype train, releasing the PS4 Pro and the Xbox One S, as well as the Xbox One X releasing this November.

          But the question I’ve had ever since this 4K craze started has been a big one: is it really worth it?

          The big issue that I feel is holding back 4K from being as accepted as high-def streaming was when that came out is that you need a bunch of new tech just to make it work. So let’s say I’m just jumping into gaming this year and my ultimate goal is to play Horizon: Zero Dawn in 4K while spending as little money as possible. Let’s visit Best Buy Canada to see how much it’s gonna cost me.

          So first off we need a TV that can stream 4K visuals. The cheapest ones Best Buy has are $500 exactly with no tax. Next we need a PS4 Pro, because the standard ones don’t support 4K visuals even if you have a TV that does. That’s another $500 gone. And last but not least we need the game, so that’s $80 more out of our budget and one Best Buy manager we just made extremely happy.

          In total, if you want to play Horizon: Zero Dawn in 4K and don’t have any prior equipment and want to spend as little cash as possible, it’ll cost you $1080. I’d make a joke here about 1080p resolution, but honestly it’s not super clear.

           Awful jokes aside, right now 4K gaming costs a little more than a comic book to say the least. It’s even more costly than the ludicrously over-expensive VR craze from last Christmas. I still don’t know anyone who’s actually bought a 4K TV either, with most of them saying that at this point it isn’t really worth it. Most of the major movie releases don’t support 4K yet, and even Nintendo’s Reggie Fils-Aime recently spoke to Verge, saying that the audience for 4K was way too limited for them to even start thinking about supporting it yet.

          So the question remains: is 4K going to be accepted the same way high-definition was, or will it wind up undersold and forgotten alongside 3D TVs and VR? Sony and Microsoft sure seem to hope for the former. 4K visuals were a huge selling point this E3, and the Xbox One X’s entire selling point is the fact that it’s the most powerful console on the market, especially since all their exclusives are also available to PC users patient enough to brave the Windows 10 Store.

          I think that right now we’re in the baby phase for 4K, and it’ll eventually become the industry standard. I’ve even heard rumblings of stuff like 5K and even 8K resolution graphics being available in the future. I can only assume that by the time I’m an old guy the TVs will be 200K and will melt the eyes of the unworthy.

           Only time will tell if 4K is here to stay or not. Right now I’d say it’s way too expensive to gain the wide appeal high-def TV got when it launched, but it has potential. I feel that once it stops being the new and hot thing that everyone wants to upgrade to and is allowed to sit for a while, it’ll be much more affordable. Plus I have no doubt that the next generation consoles will have 4K graphical capabilities to start without the need to upgrade. But as we’re not quite there yet, I think 4K’s still got a while to go before it makes it out of the gates.

Song of the Week

          Night Atmosphere – Horizon: Zero Dawn

Re:Creators Episode 13 Non-Review (THE RECAP EPISODE)

Uh I don’t know what to put here

(This review contains…something)

          Oh, you actually clicked on this?

          Uh…well, thanks for that, I guess. Look, I don’t really have anything to say about this episode. It’s just a recap of the series up to this point. I guess since we’re sort of in limbo between the Spring and Summer anime seasons the showrunners decided to save on budget or something.

          There’s not much for me to say here. Meteora as the narrator is pretty fun, especially when she subtly heckles the other characters and changes the story around to make herself the hero at points before relenting and fixing it. But there’s no content either than a couple of funny jokes, it’s just clips and character reintroductions.

          …Yeah, that’s it. You can skip this episode unless you really want to see it. I’m clocking out early. See you next week.

FINAL SCORE

¯\_(ツ)_/¯