Monday, 27 June 2016

Editorial: My Top 10 favourite (and Top 5 least favourite) E3 2016 trailers (E3 Month 2016 Part 4)

My Top 10 favourite (and Top 5 least favourite) E3 2016 trailers


          We’ve reached the end of E3 Month, and with that I’m going to give everything I liked and disliked at this year’s conference! Because I want to end on a high, I’ll go through the losers first, and we’ll end off with my favourite trailers of this year’s conference. So, without further ado:

My Top 5 Worst Trailers from E3 2016

5. That weird Star Wars compilation (EA)


          After the mess that was Star Wars Battlefront, I wanted EA to come back with a big Star Wars reveal this year with a new game that would blow everyone out of the water. Instead, we got game developers sitting at their desks and talking about how excited they were to work on these games.

          This trailer highlights a recent trend I’ve been noticing in E3 that I feel needs to be stopped: telling instead of showing. We don’t want to hear about how great your game’s going to be, we want to see how great your game’s going to be. This trailer has about 10 seconds total gameplay, and we don’t even know what game it’s for, aside from the fact that it’s a Star Wars game!

          I do like that we’re actually seeing the developers working on the game talk about it, instead of some executive in a suit. However, since you have nothing to show, there was really no point in having this at the conference, except to fill time.

4. Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Wildlands (Ubisoft)


          Oh, Ubisoft. You love doing that annoying trick where you make voice actors talk over a barren game to make it seem more lively than it actually is, don’t you?

          Whoever’s making the Ubisoft trailers seems to be the only person that likes doing this, because I’ve never heard anyone in the gaming community say they enjoy it. For those of you who don’t know, what Ubisoft does is have voice actors come in and act like gamers to talk over their gameplay trailers. What this does is make the game seem more dynamic and alive than it actually is, when in reality, the game is usually stiff and boring.

          Stiff and boring is the perfect way to describe the rest of the trailer. At no point does Ghost Recon Wildlands look original or interesting. It’s yet another Ubisoft open world filled with likely nothing interesting whatsoever, and the action seems more like something out of Grand Theft Auto’s high speed chases than the tactical stealth of the original Ghost Recon games. It’s just a poor trailer overall.

3. Sea of Thieves, Microsoft


          I’m sure Sea of Thieves is a fine game. It’s being developed by whoever’s still at Rare and hasn’t jumped ship to Playtonic, so that’s nice. I’m glad to see that this legendary developer isn’t being relegated to doing sports tech demos anymore.

          The only problem here is that it’s hard to focus on gameplay footage when people are screaming in your face.

          I didn’t pick up on a single thing featured in this trailer, because somebody decided it would be a good idea to format it in the style of an internet Let’s Play. Several random people screamed and yelled over the gameplay in the trailer, making it impossible to focus on anything that was going on.

          I really hope that this doesn’t become a trend, because this really harkens back to the whole Kinect Kids demos of awful presenters showing off what might be decent games. Let the trailers speak for themselves, instead of forcing these annoying people down our throats.

2. Watch Dogs 2 (Ubisoft)


          The original Watch Dogs is one of the most infamous games in recent memory. Gamers remember it well for the amazing graphics shown off at E3 that were then absent in the final product. Many agree it to be one of the most misleading, disappointing games ever made.

          Knowing this, Ubisoft knew that they had to win gamers back in the sequel. What did they do?

          They gave us the same thing again, only this time it seems even less appealing.

          It’s yet another brown and grey open world from Ubisoft. Along with your hacking skills, your character is as adept with a gun as a professional soldier. And finally, gang lingo and swear words fly with reckless abandon, clearly trying to be “hip with the kids”.

          This then segued into not only one of the worst game trailers of the conference, but one of the worst game trailers I’ve ever seen. The camera scrolled past middle fingers and destruction all around, all while obnoxiously vulgar rap blared in the background. I’m sure that at the end of the campaign for this one, we’ll be on our hands and knees begging for the characters of Mirror’s Edge Catalyst.

          Any other year I’d say that this trailer deserves the top spot, but this year I say no. There is one that was so lazy, so poorly put together, that the stream itself quit out halfway through it! Yes, I am of course talking about…

1. Elder Scrolls Legends (Bethesda)


          THIS.

Ignoring the fact that the game isn’t shown at all in this trailer, and the fact that when you find actual footage, it looks like a cheap cash-in on the popularity of games like Hearthstone and Gwent, this is not how you do a trailer for a video game.

Let’s say you showed this trailer to somebody without telling them what it was for. What type of game would they say it was advertising? I’d bet you anything that collectible card game would be the last game on their mind.

Secondly, just look at it! It looks like something someone made in Microsoft PowerPoint! I get that they’re trying to go for the same “still images moving around” thing Hearthstone does in their expansion trailers, but this isn’t even close. In a Hearthstone trailer, there’s usually a catchy song playing, and the animations are fast and fluid to keep your attention. Here, all you have is looking at still images of people that are being talked over, and maybe once in a while, someone will turn their head.

This trailer highlights all the main problems with E3 trailers nowadays. Little to no actual gameplay, people talking over everything, and it looks so darn uninteresting. Shame on you, Bethesda.

My Top 10 Best Trailers from E3 2016

10. Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare (Sony)


          I’ve always considered Call of Duty to be the death of originality when it comes to first-person shooters. In recent years, their annual releases seemed to be in a competition as to which one can be more similar to the last, until I assume they all fuse together to become one massive Call of Duty entity.

          However, the trailer of Infinite Warfare does something that makes it stand out above the rest: The first time I watched this trailer, I had no idea it was a Call of Duty game. It’s been a running joke in gaming for a while now that you can show any brown hued shooter, slap the name Call of Duty on it, and no one will know the difference. This looks very different, with lots of flying around in space, grappling hooking around from ship to ship, and blowing up lots of stuff.

          While the combat looks like your average Call of Duty fare (except now it’s in spaaaaaaaaaaace!), flying around in your own personal spacecraft looks like a blast. After Battlefront incorrectly decided that no one wanted space battles, this seems like lots of fun. Moving in space seems great as well.

          However, only time will tell if Infinite Warfare can stand above the rest, or if it’ll be added to the pile of forgettable yearly Call of Duty games. For now though, we have an awesome trailer.

9. Star Trek VR (Ubisoft)


          Yes, the graphics don’t look great, and yes, there was little to no actual gameplay, but darn if I don’t love seeing old Star Trek cast members get together for something.

          I still really haven’t been sold on VR just yet, it’s clear that we’re still in the infant phase of the medium. If you were to ask me though what I would like to see from the platform, I guarantee “Star Trek bridge game” would be one of my first answers. I’ve long had an idea for a game where a large group of players man a single starship, and with any luck, this might be the first steps.

          I would’ve liked to see some actual gameplay here, but this was an awesome first peek into what VR is capable of.

8. Titanfall 2 (EA)


          Yes, the first trailer of the entire show was one of my favourites overall. I never played the original Titanfall, as it didn’t really interest me when it came out, and the game was collectively dropped by players about a week later, so there was never really any point in picking it up.

          But now, EA’s planned a second installment, and it looks pretty darn cool. Grappling hooks, jumping in and out of mechs, laser beams, all that good stuff. When you’re on the ground, it looks a little too close to Call of Duty for comfort, it looks very similar to the original, and there’s no telling exactly how it’ll really play, but for now, EA succeeded in capturing my interest.

          There was also a singleplayer trailer, but that wasn’t too great. Besides, who the heck is going to buy Titanfall 2 for the singleplayer?

7. For Honor (Ubisoft)


          I dislike all-cinematic trailers for video games as much as the next guy, but For Honor’s trailer this year really captured exactly the feel of the game they were going for. And who doesn’t want to see a Viking squaring off with a samurai and a medieval knight?

          I’ve always said that if you have a cinematic to show us, I’ll be much happier if a gameplay demo tags along with it. Fortunately, Ubisoft delivered (for once), bringing us a really cool look at what the singleplayer campaign will offer, alongside one of the best presenters of the entire show.

          It was as intense and violent as you’d hope, playing as an awesome Viking slashing his way through a samurai army. It resembles Dynasty Warriors in that there are plenty of cannon-fodder minions to slash through like butter, alongside stronger enemies and bosses. The combat does seem a little more complex than Dynasty’s combo strings, but who really knows at this point? The trailer looks cool, and that’s all we needed.

6. The Last Guardian (Sony)


          We didn’t get much of one of the most anticipated games of all time this year, but we did get one thing that everyone’s been hoping to see from this game for ages now: a release date.

          After 7 or 8 years of being hidden in the dark, Team Ico’s long awaited release is finally coming out October 25th. It’s crazy to think that we’re finally going to play The Last Guardian. Here’s hoping it doesn’t get delayed.

          As for the trailer itself, while it wasn’t too exciting, nor the best at the show, we did see some gameplay, and the graphics were really shown off in full force. It’s an interesting decision to have the player character rendered in cel-shaded, while the rest of the world is photorealistic. I feel that may take some getting used to, but I have faith in the developers.

          I’m still terrified the game’s going to end with Trico the giant hyena-eagle sacrificing itself for me, though. I don’t want that to happen.

5. Insomniac Games does Spider-Man (Sony)


          Words cannot describe how long I’ve wanted a Spider-Man game in the style of the Batman Arkham games. I feel that Spidey has the combat skills, gadgets, and rogues gallery that would make for a really large and exciting superhero game.

          While we didn’t see too much of this new game, it’s clear that Insomniac is really doing their best to capture the essence of Spider-Man. The visuals aren’t dark and gritty, they’re bright and colourful. Spider-Man himself is rendered in lots of light hues, and even the usual black spider on his chest has been changed to white. I don’t know why they’ve done that, but it looks pretty cool.

          As for the game itself, from what little I can gather from the trailer, it seems to be traditional superhero game fare: make your way around the city, fighting crime and saving the day. It looks like Insomniac is also borrowing the web swinging mechanics from the classic Spider-Man 2 game, which is fantastic.
         
4. ReCore (Microsoft)


          We got our first glimpse at ReCore last year, but we really didn’t have any idea what it was going to be until we got the new trailer at this year’s conference. It definitely shows some stylistic resemblance to the Metroid Prime games that the folks over at Armature Games worked on.

          While some of the character animations aren’t super smooth, the gameplay looks to be a blast. I love the idea of having several different companion characters, each with their own unique abilities. The platforming and combat looks fun as well, with a lot of focus seeming to be on lassoing and grappling hooking your way past obstacles.

          The soundtrack for this trailer was awesome as well, and it went right on my phone as soon as I heard it. I’m glad that this game is coming to Windows 10 as well as Xbox One, so even people like me who don’t own a One can play it.

3. Fe (EA)


          EA seems to have fallen in love with bringing adorably nervous indie devs onstage during their conferences. Not that I’m complaining, they’re usually the only ones showing something interesting.

          This year’s indie was a little game known as Fe. If I remember correctly, it’s the story of a small lemur-like critter, as you explore this magical forest where every creature has a song it sings, while you try and find out exactly what you are and where you came from.

          Judging by the trailer, Fe seems to be a mixture of games like Ori and the Blind Forest, Flower, and Journey. It seems very simple, but the graphics and sound design really made this one stand out. It looks almost like the type of thing you’d see in a dream.

2. Horizon: Zero Dawn (Sony)


          Guerilla Games’s robotic action-adventure game won E3 for me last year, as I loved the concept of an overgrown abandoned Earth taken over entirely by primitive tribes and robotic animals. That fusion of past versus future really caught my attention, and I was chomping at the bit to see more.

          I wish we didn’t have to wait a full year to get more footage, but whatever. When we finally got to see a real gameplay demo, it looks like exactly what I wanted out of this game.

          A beautiful tundra-scape looking like something out of the Ice Age surrounds the world, really adding to that primitive caveman element that they’re pushing. I also like the addition of a response wheel to drive conversations, although I’m not a huge fan of the voice acting performances so far.

          The gameplay itself looks really, really fun. Between the different types of robots you can take down, all the different weapon types you can use, and rideable mounts (!), this is definitely a game I’m really looking forward to.

And my Game of the Year for E3 2016 is…

1. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Nintendo)


As a huge Zelda fan, I’ve been waiting for 2 agonizing years to get a second look at the Wii U installment in the series. And with Nintendo promising that Zelda was going to be the only game they were showing at E3, I was understandably hyped. I was expecting something huge.

          What we got was even bigger than I expected.

          Just by looking at it, it’s clear Breath of the Wild is a completely new and different breed of Zelda game. The world is fully open and free to explore. Link can use weapons other than his trademark sword. Collectable hearts are out, replaced by eating food. And we supposedly only saw 1% of what the whole game has to offer.

          This was the game that excited me the most. After all the trailers and gameplay demos were finished, it was the one I was most disappointed I couldn’t pick up and play myself. Nintendo must’ve known they had something special on their hands, because Zelda completely knocked it out of the park this year.

         

          So that’s E3 Month all wrapped up! Thank you so much if you read even just one of these articles I’ve written! See you all again next June for more E3 goodness!

Friday, 24 June 2016

Space Patrol Luluco Episode 13 Review + Final Thoughts

For the love of justice
(This review contains spoilers!)

          Well, we’ve come to the end of our wild and crazy ride with Luluco and the space patrol crew. What a show this has been. I chose to watch it solely because of how different and creative the art style looked, thinking it would be good for a few laughs and some mindless entertainment, similar to shows like Nichijou and Umaru-chan. I certainly didn’t expect the show to explore themes of middle-school romance and what it means to have a first love. But, here we are.

          We’ll get to talking about the show overall in a bit. Firstly, how did the last episode fare?

          Well, it wasn’t the best I’ve ever seen Luluco, and it didn’t quite measure up to last week’s, but it was an admirable finale overall. We picked up exactly where we left off, as Nova is taken out by the Blackholian just after he confesses his love for Luluco. Luluco suits up in an awesome new outfit (apparently she’s like this legendary warrior? It wasn’t explained very well) as she fights him Shadow of the Colossus-style, jumping around all over him while she shoots him with a Judgement gun-morphed version of her and Nova’s shared crystal heart.

          Unfortunately, this episode falls prey to a lot of deus-ex-machinas, as everything kind of happens conveniently. Despite it never being hinted to before, Nova had a black hole implanted in his brain the whole time or something? But even so, he was able to come back and sacrifice himself to stop the Blackholian and be launched into another dimension. It wasn’t a super satisfying way to beat the villain, but as a method of closing the relationship between Luluco and Nova, it worked.

          I also didn’t quite get how Luluco transformed into this new, ultra-powerful version of herself out of the blue. She apparently harnessed all the power of her first love or something, but it was explained away so briefly, it was sort of a “just don’t question it” thing. To be completely fair, this is a show where in previous episodes, they’ve lit a Kill la Kill inspired planet entirely on fire and one of the main characters is basically a cardboard cutout. I don’t think that making sense is one of their top priorities.

          We ended off with an epilogue, showing where all the major characters have ended up. While I’m hoping for a Season 2, it was nice to see how everyone got their happy ending, and how Luluco is still searching for Nova, trying to rekindle her first love. It was a satisfying way to cap off the season.

          As for the series overall, while it had several ups and down points, overall was a complete joy to watch. It’s one of the funniest, creative, and most heartfelt anime I’ve ever seen, and I’d consider even putting it in my top 10 favourite anime ever. The talented folks over at Studio Trigger really know how to tell an excellent story with excellent characters and fantastic humour. If you haven’t checked it out yet, it’s only about 2 hours to watch the whole thing, as each episode is only 8 minutes long. You won’t regret it, I promise.

          Please do a Season 2, Trigger.

FINAL SCORE (Episode 13)
7/10

Good

FINAL SCORE (Overall)
9/10

Amazing

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Overwatch Review

Imagination is the essence of discovery
(This review is spoiler-free!)

          Shooters are often a hit or miss for me. Unless they do something creative and different with the genre, I never really get interested in them. I couldn’t be bothered with this year’s Battlefield 1, but Quake Champions caught my attention, although we’ve yet to see any gameplay from it.

          As for Overwatch, it fills nearly all the boxes for what I want in a shooter. Creatively diverse character selection, lots of unique and different game modes, plenty of maps, an overall bright and colourful art design, and small teams of 4-6 players. I’ve called Overwatch “this year’s Splatoon” many times over for this exact reason, plus the added fact that it’s an absolute blast to play.

          Overwatch is the most fun I’ve had with a shooter since Splatoon came out a year ago. It’s true when they say no two matches are alike, because you never know what characters you’ll be up against, or what the objective will be, or how your team will play.

          Speaking of the characters, Overwatch features some of the most iconic, well-designed, and memorable original characters I’ve seen in a game in ages. They’re all instantly recognizable, and it’s not long before you learn all their names. They all play differently too; there are zero clone characters in this game. I myself play D.Va mostly, but I’m also partial to Junkrat and Winston, and I’m learning how to play Torbjorn and Mei. The fun of Overwatch is that every character is so unique and different, you’re bound to find at least one that you enjoy.

          The art design as a whole is excellent. It reminds me a lot of modern Disney movies, and that’s a good thing. Each character is very expressive, in both their voice lines and animations. The maps and backgrounds are all beautifully detailed as well, and sometimes it can really feel like you’ve been taken to one of these places. My personal favourites in terms of this are the Illios and Hanamura maps. You can look out on the horizon and admire just how beautiful Overwatch can be.

          The different maps are, for the most part, very memorable as well. They’re all set in real-world locations, and each of them is unique, both in the objective you must perform and how they feel.  Granted, there are a few stinkers, like Volskya Industries, but the rest are enjoyably unique.

          There are 12 different locations in total, divided into 3 for 4 different game modes. The first, and best, of these modes is Control, where each team battles it out in a King of the Hill type scenario, where you must hold an area for as long as you can while preventing the other team from taking it. This is the most chaotic and fun of all the modes, as anything can happen, and it’s just as much fun to hold the point as it is to take it.

          Then there’s Escort missions, where you have to get a truck from the start of the map all the way to the end. This is a fun one too, as there’s often a lot of difficulty to keep the payload moving, and while hard, it’s extremely satisfying to get it to the end. I did notice that I lost more often when I was trying to move the payload rather than when I was stopping the payload, but I still enjoyed this game mode, especially on the Watchpoint: Gibraltar map.

          Next up are Assault missions, and honestly, these are extremely one-sided and not fun to play. It’s similar to Control, except there’s no King of the Hill aspect. One team has to take two areas, and the other team has to stop them. That all sounds fine and dandy, but the team trying to stop them has an enormous advantage. There’s a certain selection of characters who essentially guarantee a win if you’re defending (primarily Torbjorn and Bastion), and this can be extremely frustrating for the attackers who can’t even get to the second point because it’s impossible to get through the other team’s iron defense. Oftentimes Assault missions turn into throwing yourself at the other team in hopes you’ll do some damage for 5 minutes at a time.

          Finally, there are Hybrid missions that mix aspects from Escort and Assault missions. While these are okay, a lot of the problems that plague the Assault missions are here as well, and it can feel one-sided at times.

          Overwatch also features a rewards system, where each time you level up, you get a Loot Box. You can also buy more with real world cash to get gear faster. Loot Boxes are similar to Hearthstone packs in that you have no idea what’s going to be inside (the rarities are even colour-coded exactly like Hearthstone’s. I guess Blizzard really likes white, blue, purple, and orange). You can get character skins, different animations and poses, and fun but ultimately useless cosmetics like spray paints, profile pictures, and character voice lines. What I like about the Loot Boxes is that there’s nothing in them that changes the game in any way, and you only have to fork over money if there’s a skin for some reason you can’t live without. It’s really exciting every time you level up to see what goodies you’ll get next, even though it can often turn out to be 3 sprays and a voice line.

          Despite the problems with the Assault missions, when you get a really good map and a really good team, Overwatch is some of the most fun you can ever have with a shooter. All the different characters make this a game where you never know what can happen, and I’m always looking forward to my next game.

FINAL SCORE
9/10

Amazing

Monday, 20 June 2016

Editorial: My impressions on all the conferences at E3 2016 (E3 Month 2016 Part 3)

My impressions on all the conferences at E3 2016

          Well, this year’s E3 has come and gone. All 6 of the big developers have had their chances to impress us. Some did, others did not. Here are my in-depth thoughts on each of them!

EA

          Our first showing was EA’s, and it wound up being one of the most middle of the road conferences I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t great, it wasn’t terrible. We got some really good trailers, we got some really boring non-trailers.

          For starters, we got our first look at Titanfall 2. As someone who never played or was interested in the original Titanfall, this looked pretty good to me, while nothing super mindblowing. We also saw the single-player campaign, which essentially looks like every other multiplayer-focused FPS’s single player campaign: white guy with a beard is fighting to avenge something. It didn’t look super interesting.

          What did look super interesting was EA’s indie game of the year, a colourful little game called Fe. While it’s not exactly original (it seems more like a mix of Ori and the Blind Forest and Journey to me), I really love the idea of playing as a tiny animal in a big world. The graphics are gorgeous and full of life, and the idea of everything in this world having a sort of song they sing is genius. If anything, I’m really looking forward to the soundtrack of this one. The best part was that we got another adorably nervous indie dev presenting it, and while he wasn’t as “Awww” inducing as Martin Sahlin and Unravel were last year, it was still fun to watch him nervously stutter his way through his speech.

          We also got a bizarre, sort of look at the upcoming slate of Star Wars games. When I say look, I mean someone came onstage and said “Hey, look! These are the developers that are working on Star Wars games! Bye!” We got a grand total of 5 seconds of footage, and we don’t even know what game it was for, aside from the fact it was under the Star Wars name. It was honestly the most disappointing part of the conference for me. I feel they only put it in there to remind people that they have control of the Star Wars license now, and to justify giving more DLC to the 3 people who haven’t traded Battlefront into GameStop yet.

          A recurring theme I noticed during this conference was trailers with developers sitting at their desks, and little to no gameplay. We saw it with the Star Wars bit, and we also saw it with the trailer for the new Mass Effect. They showed as little of the actual game as possible, instead having developers talking about how they’re so excited to work on the game and so on. While I’m glad that these oft-unsung heroes are getting the attention they deserve, I feel I must make one point. Show, don’t tell. We want to see what you’re working on, not be told about it. Maybe next time, if a game isn’t ready to be seen in full yet, don’t wag a teaser for it in front of our faces. Wait until you have a decent trailer. If that means a game is absent at E3, so be it. It’s not like it wouldn’t be there in the first place if you have no footage.

          The conference was also only 1 hour long, which was fine to me, they didn’t have much to show after all. What I didn’t think was fine was the fact that we had to sit through 30 minutes of sports. I know, EA Sports is an enormous part of the brand, and I know, they need to have it there for their shareholders, but come on. Did we really need 10 minutes of learning that another Madden game was coming out? Spoiler alert, it looks exactly the same as the last Madden game I played, and that was a decade ago! At least the new FIFA looks okay, with a story mode added. I’m sure the fans are really looking forward to that. I especially enjoyed the random guy who came out onstage and acted his little heart out, trying to be the main character from the campaign. I really didn’t pick up on what he was saying, because I was laughing too hard. I’m sure I’ll see him again when the inevitable E3 2016 cringe compilation shows up.

          Battlefield 1 made a return appearance at the end, and while I’m not interested in this game in the slightest, I can’t deny the appeal here. This is probably going to be one of the most original realistic themed shooters in the years since modern warfare dominated the market. My only hope is that it delivers on these promises, and we don’t have another Battlefront disaster on our hands.

          Overall, a decent press conference. I’m not sure if I’ll remember anything I saw in it by next week (besides maybe Fe), but I don’t regret watching it either. My only hope is that next year we have less trailers of developers sitting at their desks, and more trailers showing actual gameplay.

Bethesda

          I really didn’t know what to expect going into this one, but what I was sure we’d get was some new games.

          Well, we sort of got that. Just not many of them.

          Bethesda’s E3 this year to me was scarily reminiscent of last year’s Square-Enix bomb. The presenters were lifeless and disinterested, and the trailers were slow and boring.

          They started off with what was the highlight of the conference for me (aside from that guy in the pre-show who kept changing his shirt every time he came on camera), Quake Champions. Now, I’ve never played a Quake game before, and we didn’t see enough to fully grasp exactly what this game was about, but I can at least figure it’s going to be a hero-based shooter in the same vein as Overwatch. I’m a huge fan of those kinds of games, so I’ll be watching this with lots of interest.

          The other new game that we saw was called Prey. Again, I had no idea that this was an existing series until someone on Twitter mentioned it, so I have no history with it. My first impressions aren’t great, as I felt that this game looked sort of like a generic space action game with a grizzled white male hero. I did really like the design of the enemies, as they had a sort of Venom symbiote look to them. The way they slithered around was very creative, and I do hope they do more with it.

          Sadly, this is mostly everything new they showed, aside from their final game, which I’ll get to in a minute. Everything else was DLC for existing games, like Doom, Fallout 4, Fallout Shelter, and Elder Scrolls Online. It seemed that the only people who still played Elder Scrolls Online were in the auditorium for the conference as well, because there were about 5 people screaming their heads off about it. We also got our first look at Skyrim Remastered, which looks just fine, but has a bit too many filters over it for my taste. Maybe we can adjust them in the options menu.

          As someone who’s never played any of these games, I can tell you that this was one of the slowest things I’ve ever had to watch. I kept waiting and waiting for this DLC and expansion talk to end, and to move onto something new, but every time they finished, they’d just start talking about a different game. It was so bad, I almost fell asleep halfway through.

          The worst came when they were talking about the Elder Scrolls card game, which looks so much like Hearthstone it’s not even funny. The trailer they showed was extremely poorly put together, with none of what we were seeing having any cohesion with the game at all. It was just still images. I could’ve made that trailer in Microsoft PowerPoint if you gave me enough time. It was so bad, even the Twitch player gave up on it, as the stream briefly crashed partway through, and came back just as the trailer ended.

          Their last game was Dishonored 2, another game I knew nothing about going in. They showed a really cool trailer for it during the preshow, which I assume aired sometime before this, and I was very interested in what more they had to show about the game.

          After 20 minutes of droning on and on about how realistic the peeling paint on the walls in the game was, I have officially lost any and all interest I had in Dishonored 2.

          It went on for ages. They walked slowly around the boring, grey game world in awkward, musicless silence, as an executive talked about just how detailed it was. Then, we got to see some actual gameplay! Which consisted of more walking. Then, finally, we got some real action and a trailer, but at this point I was so bored out of my skull I couldn’t even be bothered to pay attention.

          While it wasn’t necessarily the worst conference of all time, Bethesda’s showing this year sure was a boring one. I assume that if you’re an avid player of any of the games that got DLC, you’d be excited, but as I’m not, I was left with a really empty feeling. I’m looking forward to seeing more of Quake later on, but not much else. Maybe next year, guys.

Microsoft

          Here’s something I didn’t expect to be saying: Microsoft showed us a lot of gameplay this year at E3. Yeah, I can’t believe it either. We still got lots of cinematic trailers, but they were balanced out rather evenly with some gameplay that, while it was clearly scripted, was really nice to see.

          I think my favourite part about this conference was that it fixed the problems that plagued both of the first two conferences. While EA and Bethesda suffered because they showed too little, Microsoft’s conference was a steady stream of trailers and developers talking, keeping a decent pace the whole time.

          We started off with a trailer for Gears of War 4, because of course we did. Now, I’m not a Gears fan, I’ve never played any of the games, but this looked like big dumb fun to me. Giant monsters, zany weapons, and more brown hued scenery than you can shake a stick at. It was kind of odd how the sound cut out towards the end though. Unintentional glitch or censoring that girl’s pottymouth? You be the judge.

          Then, we went onto a gorgeous landscape. I’m a huge junkie for these types of shots, so if you ever find yourself making a trailer specifically for me for whatever horrible reason, you start with some pretty looking vista. Then, we saw the shadows of kangaroos hopping along across. This got me excited, because I thought we were seeing some sort of Australian bush adventure game.

          But all my hopes and dreams were crushed when the Forza cars drove through. I didn’t pick up anything from this trailer, I was so disappointed. I’m sure Forza fans are thrilled they’re getting the Australian Cup or whatever, but I’m still salty that I was promised kangaroos and then they were torn from my grasp.

          We then saw some more of ReCore, a game that intrigued me last year, but now has my full attention. With a large cast of robots to play as, each with their own unique abilities, I think this has potential to be something special.

          Speaking of ReCore, it brings up a point that I have about the entire conference: it seems tailor made for me, a person who doesn’t own an Xbox One. Every exclusive trailer started with “Available for Xbox One and Windows 10”. So thanks, Microsoft, for allowing me to not have to pretend to be excited for games that I wouldn’t be able to play. I’m definitely considering buying ReCore if the reviews are good.

          One thing it seemed Microsoft wanted to focus on this year was smaller games. While it’s great to get things like this out there, it did feel like a bit of a slog halfway through. Between the Limbo developers’ next project, We Happy Few, which looks like a game I would really dislike, and a disastrous trailer for Sea of Thieves, Rare’s next game. It seemed that someone decided to grab the most annoying let’s players from the internet and have that be their trailer. Unfortunately, I couldn’t focus on the trailer, they were screeching so loud.

          The conference ended with a cute but unmemorable trailer for Dead Rising 4 (featuring the best pun of the entire conference), a rather cliché looking trailer for Scalebound, an extremely grey and uninteresting Halo Wars 2 trailer, and the reveal of Project Scorpio. What is Project Scorpio, you ask? Good question. Some say it’s the successor to the Xbox One. Others will tell you it’s simply an upgraded version of the one.

          What everyone can see to agree on is that it’s capable of 4K video, and has several “megaflops” of power, which can’t sound cool no matter how you say it. Trust me, I’ve tried.

          All in all, a stellar showing for Microsoft. I truly do think that the Xbox One’s glorious failure when it was first announced was the wake-up call this company needed. It showed them that they weren’t invincible, and that if they wanted to appeal to the people who actually buy their products, they have to actually try. This year there was no TV or real-life sports and cars. They’ve really shed the “frat-boy of game companies” image they had for so long, and I absolutely respect them as developers now.

Ubisoft

          As Microsoft leaves behind their “frat-boy of game companies” title, the scoundrels over at Ubisoft seem more than happy to pick it up. This conference was filled with cool dudes shooting stuff while cursing constantly, with blood flying everywhere, and lots of different shades of grey and brown. They also showed about 3 mildly interesting games. At least that’s more than Bethesda, right?

          I try to look on the bright side of most game companies. I’ll defend EA, even if they’ve made several missteps in the past. And although I really didn’t like this year’s Bethesda conference, I still have nothing but respect for them, and it’s obvious that it just wasn’t for me.

          I never have any words for Ubisoft. Whenever I look at them, I just see the biggest money-grubbing, creativity-crushing, soul-stealing scumbags in the entire industry. All their games seem catered directly towards the 11 year olds who think swearing and guns are the coolest things in the world, and they make fake promises constantly in their conferences.

          Case in point? Watch Dogs 2. The original game is infamous for being one of the biggest lies in E3 history, with the cinematic demo looking far better than the actual released game was. While it did seem that the graphics here were a bit more believable than the trailer for the original’s were (but you never know!), it seemed that everything was geared towards the “cool dude” demographic.

          The characters acted like what a robot would think a “cool dude” would sound like. Lots of swears and gang lingo that makes absolutely no sense. If anything, they seemed more childish than anything. Then, we got into a gameplay demo, and while at first it seemed that all you had on you this time were your hacking gadgets, which would be a really cool way to do combat, it wasn’t long before Mr. Protagonist whipped out a gun and shot up everyone inside.

          This segued into one of the worst trailers I’ve ever seen for a video game. My God, the official trailer for Watch Dogs 2 was so bad. Between the profanity filled rap soundtrack, the middle fingers to the camera, the cars exploding, and ending off with a selfie, it seemed that the demographic Ubisoft is catering to the most is the stereotypical “little kid on Call of Duty” gamer. It’s like they looked up what kids liked in middle school and built their trailer around that. Yeah, because 10-14 year olds are who we should target our inevitably 17+ rated game to!

          We also saw more of the new Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon, as Ubisoft pulled out their favourite technique! No, not calling everything under their umbrella “iconic”. The other one.

          That’s right! Scripted game chat that only exists to make a barren game seem livelier than it actually is! I didn’t really pick up on what they were saying, mostly because I knew it was all fake junk, but I could gather that it was the same old stuff we saw from The Division trailer last year.

          Speaking of the game, it looks pretty darn unoriginal. Think Metal Gear Solid meets Just Cause, with a little bit of The Division thrown in there. If that sounds interesting to you, try checking out the trailer and see how you feel. To me, though, it looks like every other Ubisoft game from recent years: an empty and lifeless open world, with missions that’ll get boring in a couple of hours. Colour me unimpressed.

          Now, to be fair, there were a few things in this conference that I did like. For one, Star Trek VR, while the graphics weren’t fantastic, seems like an excellent idea! They also brought LeVar Burton, Geordi LaForge from Star Trek: The Next Generation, out on stage to talk about it, and there’s no way I can be bored when he’s talking. This is more of a “wait and see” game for me, because we didn’t get much of any footage from the game, but I really hope it plays out.

          The best thing at this conference was easily the return of For Honor. It does look a little too close to Dynasty Warriors for comfort in my opinion, but it really looks like a blast. This year, they focused on the single-player campaign, and while it might get uninteresting really fast, it does look fun to mow down enemy after enemy as a super-powered Viking dude. From what I could gather, there were lots of special moves to perform, as well as large maps available, so that’s always nice. The best part is the same as last year, as the guy presenting this game is always super fun to watch. He seems so passionate and happy to be there, despite presenting at the Ubisoft conference! I honestly want this guy to take over for Aisha Tyler next year. He’s just too cool. Since this is Ubisoft, I doubt I’m going to buy the game, as there’s no way I’m trusting paying $80 for one of their games, but it might be fun to rent for a weekend.

          We also got a look at a brand new IP! Surprise! It’s yet another open world game. I don’t know who over at Ubisoft is so in love with open worlds, but they need to be stopped before people get sick of them. I personally love open worlds, but not all the time. Especially with Ubisoft open worlds constantly being nothing but endless fields of dirt and mud, it won’t be long before the genre dies out.

          But I’m getting off track. The new IP, known as Steep, promises an open world mountain range, with lots of potential ski slopes. That’s it. It seems like a great starting idea, but I’m going to need a bit more substance before I’m willing to pay money for it. I’m sure extreme sports lovers will really enjoy it, though.

          The rest of the conference was more of the usual Ubisoft shenanigans. An opening dance number featuring animal mascots, expansions and DLC for games nobody liked in the first place, unfunny jokes by Aisha Tyler, and a long segment about the Assassin’s Creed movie, though thankfully nowhere near as long as I was speculating.

          I will give them this: this year’s conference was an improvement over last year’s. At least we didn’t have cutaways in between every single game to go see what Aisha Tyler was up to. Hell, she was barely onstage this year! If this is their first steps going down the long, winding road to redemption, I will greet them at the other end with open arms. But until then, this conference, while better than Bethesda’s snoozefest, should never be witnessed again.

Sony

          Call me a Sony fanboy all you want, but there’s no denying that they knocked it out of the park again this year. Before the conference I said that topping last year’s crazy announcements would be near-impossible. But they did it, by giving us nothing but crazy announcements, with little to no downtime in between, plus a live orchestra playing music over it all.

          I felt that the conference had a bit of a slow start, mostly because I’m not a God of War fan, and to me Days Gone looks like little more than the next game trying to be Last of Us. At this point I’m so sick of zombies and apocalyptic settings in games that as soon as it becomes clear that one of the two are a major theme in a game, I lose interest. They’ve been oversaturated like crazy.

          God of War did look good, though. I liked seeing an older Kratos (complete with beard!) guiding who I assume to be his son through a Norse-mythology inspired tundra, even fighting a frost giant at one point. Plus, it was an actual gameplay demo, which is always nice to see at E3.

          We then moved into the return of two of the biggest stars of last year’s conference: The Last Guardian and Horizon Zero Dawn. Last Guardian only got a minute or two to show off what new stuff it has, but it was kind of crazy to think that one of those is a release date. Yes. After 7 years, The Last Guardian is finally coming out on October 25. Unless it gets delayed. Please don’t get delayed.

          On the other hand, Horizon: Zero Dawn, which has been conspicuously absent from the spotlight since last year, got a full gameplay trailer. And wow, was it ever amazing. Horizon was my Game of E3 last year, and this year it really showed what it could do.

          We saw our huntress heroine doing what she does best: fighting and wrangling robots. She grabbed a large ram-like bot, and was able to hack into its programming to domesticate it, giving her a mount. One has to wonder how many different rideable creatures are in this game.

          Then, we got a look at how the combat is going to work. As the protagonist faced off with a malicious Corruptor, she used arrows, ropes, and more tools to take it down. When victory had finally been achieved, she noted that the machine looked ancient. We know that this game takes place in a future where the old civilizations have been overgrown and returned to nature, but it’s still a mystery what exactly those humans did for this to happen.

          While, as I said, I’m really sick of post-apocalyptic settings, this one seems interesting to me. It’s not a barren, uninteresting wasteland full of boring colours this time. Instead it feels more like the lost cities from Uncharted, complete with lots of green hues. Only time will tell if it’s actually good in-game, but for now, I’m intrigued.

          We then segued into Detroit: Become Human, which looked fine. From what I could tell, it was a Telltale Games-style experience, where every decision you made counted towards whether you could save a hostage or not. Sometimes you wouldn’t save her, sometimes you’d save her but her captor would die, sometimes you’d save everyone, and sometimes you’d die in the process. I really like the choose your own adventure idea, but I can’t help but feel that this could become really stale if it’s just one case. I’ll need to see more before I can say I’m interested.

          Then we saw some VR games, including a surprising appearance by Resident Evil 7, a Star Wars X-Wing Game, and more. I’m still not sold on VR just yet, but the potential of flying an X-Wing in virtual reality may just be too much to pass up.

          After that, it felt like Sony was on a roll that no one could stop. A new trailer for Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare premiered, and it was a huge success in that it got me excited about Call of Duty for the first time ever. We got the return of Crash Bandicoot with the promise of remasters. Hideo Kojima came out in the most grandiose entrance ever to introduce his new game, Death Stranding. It looked very much like the type of game he would make, with lots of imagery that made no sense, but it looked interesting. Again, no actual gameplay though. That’s one thing I’m a little sick of at E3. If you can’t show us the game itself, I’d say we might be better off not seeing it at all.

          To close out the show, we learned that Insomniac Games is working on a new Spider-Man game, and Days Gone came back for a gameplay demo. Firstly, Spider-Man is my favourite superhero, so I have high hopes for this game. And while Days Gone doesn’t look interesting at all, I was impressed with the amount of zombies they were able to get onscreen at once. There were thousands chasing this guy. I can imagine it getting really stressful at times.

          Sony knows how to do E3 right. The conference was an hour shorter than Microsoft’s, but by cutting all the crap and showing people what they wanted, they put themselves above the rest. In a perfect world, they’d all be like this. All games, no zany personalities, promises that no one intends to keep, or attempts at memes. Thank you, Sony.

Nintendo

          This was the one I was most nervous about. Nintendo’s always been very hit or miss at E3. I thought that their feeble attempt at a conference last year was an enormous disappointment, especially with the fact that their next Nintendo Direct later that year topped it in every sense of the word.

          So with the announcement that they were going to focus primarily on Zelda Wii U this year, with no sign of their enigmatic next console, I wasn’t sure if they could pull it off.

          Wouldn’t you know it, they did.

          We began with a trailer for Zelda, and by god, does it ever look gorgeous. We supposedly only saw 1% of what the game has to offer in the E3 demo, but judging by the different landscapes, the world looks to be extremely diverse, with deserts and snowcapped areas. Plus, it finally got a title: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

          But before we could see more, we were thrust into some more info on Pokémon Sun and Moon. I believe that Nintendo knew that this game was their only other hot ticket at E3 this year, so they put it right at the start to ensure that fans didn’t miss it in the avalanche of Zelda news.

          We saw a lot more than before, and I was very happy with it. It seems to improve on everything Generation 6 did in every way, with full 3D models on all the trainers, updated lighting and visual effects, the PokéDex is more useful, and my personal favourite, you can now check your Pokémon’s statistics on a whim in the middle of battle. New Pokémon were introduced as well, as we got our first looks at this generation’s starting bird, bug, and small mammal Pokémon. They all clearly follow in the footsteps of Pidgey, Caterpie, and Rattata before them, but I really like their designs, especially Pikipek the woodpecker. I don’t believe we’ve seen a new Pokémon so far this generation that I’ve flat out disliked.

          After that was done, we finally moved onto Zelda, as Bill Trinen and Eiji Aonuma were on hand to finally introduce the long-awaited next installment. We played through the first few minutes, and right off the bat it’s clear that this game is taking lots of inspiration from games like Skyrim. Zelda staples like collectible hearts are out, replaced by eating food such as apples and meat. You can go anywhere you want, supposedly even right to the final boss. Also, those adorable little Koroks from Wind Waker are here, sparking lots of debate on where this game lies in the infamous Zelda timeline.

          As the presentation went on, we saw more and more of the 1% they were willing to show us, including climbing the tallest mountain in the area, fighting off swarms of Bokoblins, and exploring small dungeon-like shrines.

          While it was fantastic to finally see this game we’ve been waiting 2 years for the return of, as it went on it did become clear that they’d mostly run out of things to show behind the limitations of the E3 demo. A lot of time was spent killing the same enemy types, just with different weapons. It also didn’t help that a lot of the Treehouse employees drafted to host the different sections of the livestream were very cringeworthy. Not Ubisoft levels of bad, but not great either.

          Despite the problems it had, I really liked the Nintendo Livestream. I did wish we’d seen more variety in Zelda, but I’m just happy we’re finally seeing the game. I also wish we could’ve gotten a glimpse at NX, but if it’s not ready, it’s not ready.

FINAL SCORES
1.    Sony: 9/10 (Amazing)
2.    Nintendo: 8/10 (Great)
3.    Microsoft: 7/10 (Good)
4.    EA: 5/10 (Average)
5.    Ubisoft: 3/10 (Bad)
6.    Bethesda: 2/10 (Awful)

Yeah, I couldn’t not give Sony the top spot again this year. It gave me exactly what I wanted out of an E3 conference, and then some. The only question is how they’ll top it next year.

     Nintendo and Microsoft both had excellent showings as well, very much deserving second and third place. Like I said, EA was a very middle of the road conference, and while they didn’t show much of anything, what we did have was good. Ubisoft and Bethesda both had pretty darn lousy showings, but I had to give Ubisoft the higher placing, because Bethesda had a grand total of 3 unreleased games to show total, and because Ubisoft somehow bored me less than Bethesda.


All in all, another great E3! I really enjoyed watching everyone this year (except Bethesda and Ubisoft of course), and I’m already looking forward to next time! Next week, we’ll close out E3 Month 2016 as I give my Top 10 Best (and Top 5 Worst) Games of E3. Hope to see you there!